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LuciusDickusMaximus Archive

December 31st, 2022

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/r/mildlyinfuriating

3 years ago

Third time the cops were called on me and my girlfriend at a hotel because she is so beautiful and “sexy” that patrons assume she is a prostitute

December 31st, 2022

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Comments:

alexxerth

3 years ago

I almost wish this post got upvoted just so more people could see this ridiculous shit.

1

[deleted]

3 years ago

Ughhh, I know dude. Happened to me 3x last week! Can't beautiful people just live in peace?

1

nonamekeeks

3 years ago

Shit that didn’t ever ever ever happen for 200, Alex.

1

Clearg188

3 years ago

Lemme guess she does Glamour Shots too?

1

Intelligent-Stock-29

3 years ago

And what does your busy executive assistant wife think about that?

1

GreyGhost878

3 years ago

So why are we looking at a picture of the cop and not your beautiful girlfriend?

1

No-Historian-8287

3 years ago

Bro this guy ridiculous. Dude b4 posting bs atleast use an original image. Or no image and just your dumb story. But c'mon neckbeard. Square your shit up. Tighten your shot group and try another fantasy post later.

1

ForeverFree99

3 years ago

I've seen her, looks like Artie Lange. So hot.

1

pigandpom

3 years ago

Or, they were called because you were being abusive to other hotel patrons

1

Unhappy-Educator

3 years ago

Is this a cop or a security guard?

Looking like a security guard to me with that minimalist belt.

1

Kalorama_Master

3 years ago

I had a sex slave who I would order to dress like a whore, ride the metro during morning rush, and wait for me outside my office building…and no one gave a fuck

1

Your_mum6969420

3 years ago

it was true, I was the body cam

1

alchemyearth

3 years ago

My cousin got married to a woman younger and of a different race and when visiting Canada the border patrol people thought he was trying to traffic her and they made a big stink about it making them go inside and putting them in seperate rooms giving them the 3rd degree. Mind you she is very quiet and maybe they thought their documents were fake? I dunno but it's weird they told them that they suspected human trafficking.

1

[deleted]

3 years ago

Such a lonely life you must live.

1

EastSideDomi

3 years ago

Congrats?

1

SilentWatcher83228

3 years ago

Stop offering money to other guests and they won’t call cops on you

1

Competitive_Ad_9775

3 years ago

Must be the infamous Nadia....

1

Competitive_Ad_9775

3 years ago

gif

1

[deleted]

3 years ago

Got any pics? Nudes if poss?

1

Mr_Paramount

3 years ago

🧢

1

Disastrous-Beyond443

3 years ago

She’s from a different school. You wouldn’t know her

63

ColinFCross

3 years ago

Niagara Falls?

9

Disastrous-Beyond443

3 years ago

Probably Mystic Falls

4

TheOGUncleBadTouch

3 years ago

ill take things that never happened for $1000 Alex

45

ZucksSkinSuit

3 years ago

I’ll take OP doesn’t have a girlfriend for $1000 Alex

24

Throwawaydaughter555

3 years ago

Looked at OPs post history. He’s Mormon. So. This reads like a wish list after being stuck on a mission.

20

Odd_Drop5561

3 years ago

It must be really infuriating to you and your fake not-a-prostitute girlfriend that image search exists.

Here's the news story your picture is from:

https://globalnews.ca/news/4801839/hotel-black-guest-employees-fired/

38

JodoBaggens

3 years ago

Good job gang. Now lets see who this OP really is..... Neckbeard himself.

12

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

I obviously didn’t have an actual photo of the cops but this sub requires and image so I found one online that was closer

Odd_Drop5561

3 years ago

I can understand that -- it makes perfect sense that you posted a fake photo to go along with your fake girlfriend.

22

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

You suck. For real.

Odd_Drop5561

3 years ago

Yes, it's true, I do.

But if that's an offer, I'm really not interested, thanks anyway. Besides, what would your fake girlfriend think?

5

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

Alright you were winning until you made that reply. Damn shame, you flew too close to the sun and made a terrible attempt at humor. Happy new year imma go bang my wife

Odd_Drop5561

3 years ago

Alright you were winning until you made that reply. Damn shame, you flew too close to the sun and made a terrible attempt at humor. Happy new year imma go bang my wife

Why would you bang your wife instead of your fake girlfriend that's so hot that people call the police because they think she's a prostitute?

The only people that say "imma go bang my wife" are people that don't have a wife... or girlfriend.

6

[deleted]

3 years ago

Post this imaginary girlfriend

2

JodoBaggens

3 years ago

Does your imaginary girlfriend fall for your bullshit?

10

Psychological-Set125

3 years ago

This sub doesn’t require an image to make posts

4

JustTheSpecsPlease

3 years ago

Buulllllll-SHIT!

2

[deleted]

3 years ago

I appreciate this lie. It made me laugh. Thank you.

64

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

Not a lie sadly. We just got the “all clear” 🙄

[deleted]

3 years ago

As a previous hotel manager I can assure you, this doesn’t happen lol

41

Intelligent-Day-6976

3 years ago

Depends on how old she looks!!!

4

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

It must have been difficult managing every single hotel in the world

[deleted]

3 years ago

Nah. Just time consuming.

19

[deleted]

3 years ago

Riiiight

33

ShadyVermin

3 years ago

r/thathappened

30

Basis_Safe

3 years ago

This screams neckbeard

27

Undercrackrz

3 years ago

The cops were called because you were continually harassing patrons of the hotel, claiming attractive women were your girlfriend, when all your dick has ever been inside before is your underpants and your fist.

18

the_stooge_nugget

3 years ago

Damn... Went full savage on the dude lol

9

Prim_2199

3 years ago

This is all true, I’m the cop

16

Chance_Fall_7779

3 years ago

I can vouch for him as the cop, I am the Karen who called.

5

atlantagirl30084

3 years ago

gif

14

NYweldDuster69

3 years ago

Either this didn't happen or u so ugly no one believes u can pull a mildly attractive female

11

ScienceWasLove

3 years ago

Without pictures of you gf, it never happened. Sorry. Not sorry. FTFY.

12

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

Sorry you’ll have to jerk off to something else today you fucking loser

ScienceWasLove

3 years ago

Jokes on you - I already jerked off this AM!!

13

Clan-Korhu

3 years ago

“You are not alone, uh! I am here with you”

Michael Jackson

3

StringResident1431

3 years ago

sir do you have two other weed smoking girlfriends in the room with you

1

haikusbot

3 years ago

Sir do you have two

Other weed smoking girlfriends

In the room with you

  • StringResident1431

I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.Learn'more'about'me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

1

the_stooge_nugget

3 years ago

Well show us a picture of your gf as proof lol

20

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

Gtfo here creep

the_stooge_nugget

3 years ago

Lol chill I am joking. Just catching you out on your lie

21

[deleted]

3 years ago

SHE LIVES IN CANADA OKAY

12

jessicat2222

3 years ago

Her camera is broken she can’t send a picture!

6

YourSmallIntestine

3 years ago

I hate being beautiful and sexy, I get the cops called on me all the time.

8

shroomigator

3 years ago

Patrons dont make such calls. Staff maybe, but not patrons.

And if staff makes the call, its because shes worked there before and they recognize her

6

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

you clearly know very little about hotels so why contribute your opinion

shroomigator

3 years ago

I felt a desire to get somebody worked up over nothing and you just up and volunteered

8

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

Good luck with your crypto investments :)

shroomigator

3 years ago

Hello, police? Yes. My name is marvin freeman, and im attending the convention for shoe salesman down at the Radisson. Yes, the big shoe salesman convention. And I saw this man, and this man was with this woman, and this woman, well I guess I can say this woman is a bit too attractive for this kind of place... what do I mean? Well, she has some very large, um, features and um... you'll send a car right away? Oh thank you officer, thank you

9

-ChabuddyG

3 years ago

And good luck with your “girlfriend”. What does your husband think of her? .

r/QuitYourBullshit

4

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

All this aside, People Just Do Nothing is an incredible programme.

2

-ChabuddyG

3 years ago

Well we do have to bond over that! Such a great show.

Are you just trolling and having a laugh with your posts lol?

2

JamesMattDillon

3 years ago

If this is true, why didn't you post a pic of her along with the cops?

12

LisleSwanson

3 years ago

You wouldn't know her. She goes to another school

8

JamesMattDillon

3 years ago

🤣

1

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

GTFO creep

JamesMattDillon

3 years ago

So I'm a creep for asking for proof? GTFO you troll

7

[deleted]

3 years ago

Pic

5

[deleted]

3 years ago

Prove it

5

whosjoe-

3 years ago

reminds me of the time airport security wouldnt let me on my flight because my balls were so massive they assumed they were bombs

4

MundaneFoot7260

3 years ago

So true bro!!!! Just the other day I myself was UNJUSTLY BANNED from my local McDonalds after my MASSIVE MUSCLES distracted the workers. SMH, these people don’t know how to act!!!!

3

RevolutionaryAd6241

3 years ago

I knew I recognised him. It's this dude!!

4

Special-Single

3 years ago

I remember this post - I can’t decide which is more delusional

3

RevolutionaryAd6241

3 years ago

Same🤣

2

tomcat5o1

3 years ago

gif

3

Mountain_Catch_2003

3 years ago

Funniest lie I’ve seen in awhile

2

JustAnotherLurker001

3 years ago

you name is LuciusDickusMaximus

more like LyingDingusMaximus....amirite

2

Realistic_Choice385

3 years ago

Your girlfriend just looks like an everyday tired ass cop. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder but in this case I totally don't see it.

2

[deleted]

3 years ago

Fuck all the bullies, OP. Fuck 'em

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