I’ve been closing my eyes while driving when I get overstimulated

This is really concerning. I think you know that already. I can see you trying to justify this reckless behaviour by explaining that you know this route well, yet you say when you got home you remembered there were 2 lights you didn’t remember, so despite knowing the route, you still didn’t recall it with crystal clarity. It’s not okay to drive with your eyes closed—ever. There is no excuse or exception to that. None. Zero.

The onus and responsibility is on you to manage your sensitivity at the end of the day, nobody else’s. When you know you’re frayed at the edges, the options become:

1. Don’t drive home. Take a bus, a cab, ask for a ride with somebody else, etc.
2. Don’t drive home right away. Take 5, 10, even 15 minutes before you drive home to sit alone in your car with your eyes closed and ears plugged to deep breathe and clear your mind.
3. Get a new job that doesn’t burn you out.
4. Some combo of the above options.

Again, it is never, ever okay to drive with your eyes closed, no matter how familiar you are with the road and route. You already know this, and you’re consumed with worry and guilt over it, and that’s good. That’s your mind telling you this cannot continue.

I really, really hope you get this sorted out, and immediately. You could kill yourself, or ruin your life, or somebody else’s, and for what? Jobs suck, chores suck, we’re all exhausted. No need to hurt anybody over it. We just gotta cope, y’know?

This habit is already dangerous. Your guilt is justified. If you continue this, it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens. You may know the road well, but the road isn’t dangerous. There are other drivers, animals, road debris, pedestrians, children, etc. that you will not see with your eyes closed.

I am sorry things have been so overwhelming for you, and I hope things get better soon. In the meantime, please build your transportation habits around this stress instead of gravely endangering yourself and others. Others have made good suggestions. Find an alternative to driving if you are too stressed to do it, but you may also need to make some bigger life changes if you are this overstimulated. I’ve been there.

I wonder if it would help to do some meditation/mindfulness exercises for like 5 minutes in the car before you start to drive? It might bring down your stimulation enough that the stuff that happens while you drive doesn't push you over the edge.

It is strongly recommended that people don't drive while emotional because it causes too much distraction. I definitely understand being overstimulated and needing to take a break, but doing that while you're driving is very dangerous. If there are alternative options, I would encourage you to use those (public transit, Uber, taxi, etc.). At the very least, when you get to the point of needing to close your eyes you should pull over until you're able to continue with your eyes open.

For comparison, the average time it takes to send a text while driving is 5 seconds, and we've all heard the dangers of texting while driving.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but the danger is real, so I hope you can find a safer way to cope with your over-stimulation.

Edit: It's important not to dwell on mistakes made in the past, so rather than thinking about what could have happened, I would just keep in mind what can happen so you make safer decisions in the future. I think the anxiety from thinking about what could have happened will be counter productive and might make the over-stimulation worse (I know, easier said than done).

I don’t close my eyes while moving, and that does sound dangerous to me. What I do do when I’m feeling overstimulated is to close my eyes for a few seconds at a time while sitting at a red light (sometimes when I’m the first car in line at the light, though I am more cautious doing it then; sometimes when I’m further back) if there are a bunch of cars turning left across my field of vision— this is something that bothers me when I am overstimulated. Still, after a few seconds I will open my eyes enough to at least see the car in front of me (if there is one) or I’ll check on the traffic light every few seconds (if I’m first).

One thing that has helped me is taking the amino acid L-tyrosine. I believe I have low levels of dopamine, and this amino acid helps with some of my symptoms, and helps me to feel overstimulated less often than before.