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LuciusDickusMaximus Archive

July 6th, 2023

3

/r/casualiama

3 years ago

I am Vynch Gollug, an ex ventriloquist who is now hired to frame men for catcalling women. Ask me anything.

It may sound silly, but I am essentially a hit man except I don’t kill, I bring shaming. Although it’s not always peaceful— I once set up a guy and got him in big trouble with a girls bodybuilder boyfriend. You can imagine how that one ended.

Oh and by the w, I run this hustle through the dark web, so you won’t find me on “Google.” But should my services sound interesting, perhaps we can work something out elsewhere.

July 6th, 2023

3

Comments:

MomDontReadThisShit

3 years ago

Type without moving your lips next time. Not very convincing at all. I knew it wasn’t the puppet talking!

3

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

This is a very popular misconception. Most ventriloquists do not use puppets.

2

[deleted]

3 years ago

This is amusing.

1

Curious_Location4522

3 years ago

Is there such thing as a fart ventriloquist? That could be lucrative.

1

theflamingskull

3 years ago

Would you agree that many ventriloquist are hack comics with a gimic?

1

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

I’d say that comics are hacks with no gimmicks.

1

Paraperire

3 years ago

Ok I’ll bite. How does this work?

2

ClusterChuk

3 years ago

Scheckles, my friend. Money. The freaks are taking back to the streets. No one goes to the circus anymore, so now its shakedown, catburglaring, this clown ass creepy bard shit^ and stealing babies from open windows.

Economics, man.

2

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

^

2

MotorNorth5182

3 years ago

Would you like to be a hit man who does kill when you grow up?

1

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

No.

1

MotorNorth5182

3 years ago

But, but, you can use your skill as a ventriloquist and make it sound like someone else did it. It’s fucking perfect. Who pays you for the work you do?

1

MotorNorth5182

3 years ago

How does one graduate from ventriloquist to hit man?

1

LuciusDickusMaximus

3 years ago

Circus closed down, but my mortgage didn’t.

3

MotorNorth5182

3 years ago

You were in a circus? Did you live in a caravan and smell like elephant dung?

1