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August 25th, 2023

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/r/NoStupidQuestions

3 years ago

What should I do to prepare before a fight with a bouncer who has some weight on me?

Hi all, hope you’re doing well. I come to you requesting some advice for a fight I’m going to be a part of in a few weeks.

I recently came into a lot of money and have decided to use it to open a bar. I’ve been an accountant for over 15 years and have been dreaming about owning a watering hole for about 14 and a half of them.

It’s been a slow process, as I’ve been converting an old corner store. So first I basically demolished everything and then started been building it back up. I’m going for a really specific and unique “vibe” for the place, so I’ve been trying, when possible, to get my materials and decorations from my contacts in the underworld. However, I had a really bad experience a month ago: some guy on the deep web told me he could get me a mine cart from an abandoned coal mine. I really fell in love with the idea of delivering drinks to people on the mine cart, so I foolishly sent him a ton of money. Never heard from him again.

I’m a bit traumatized from that experience and I’m trying to avoid getting swindled again. I’ve been looking to hire a bouncer more recently and because of the mine cart ordeal I’ve decided that whoever I hire has to be able to prove their capabilities by beating me in a fight.

My first round of combat is coming up in a few weeks and I want to come at him with everything I have. He’s got a huge physical advantage on me (He’s 250 pounds, I’m 145 pounds; he’s about 6’ and I’m 5’10”) but I’m very fast and agile from my experience as a gymnast. I’m also a green belt in taekwondo, which taught me that size is certainly not everything.

I’m looking to supplement my experience with some training I can do on my own, or (not preferred) with a paid instructor. Reminder that I only have a few weeks so any expedited courses would be appreciated. Thanks!

August 25th, 2023

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Comments:

forests_dumps

3 years ago

man, wealthy people literally have nothing to do.

2

AnySeaworthiness5779

3 years ago

I recommend bringing a pump action shotgun with you. Put the first round into his kneecap. You win.

2

HughJahsso

3 years ago

Lmao, this is awesome

1

magicke2

3 years ago

LMAO!! You do know that a green belt in Taekwondo is basically learning enough to get your ass killed, don't you!???! 🤪😜

1

MysteryNeighbor

3 years ago

Dear lord, I hope this story is pure fiction.

Anyway, do not fight the bouncer. Just hire an already reputable bouncer instead of just fighting someone, there is more to the profession than just throwing hands

3

granistuta

3 years ago

Of course it's pure fiction.
In this thread OP is a "lass"
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/161a5mc/as_a_lass_how_do_lads_get_brewballs/

In this thread OP has a wife
https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/169fole/wife_threatened_to_leave_five_star_reviews_saying/

They are obviously a karma farming troll. Or a compulsive liar.

3

MysteryNeighbor

3 years ago

Lmao, that’s pretty sad

2