Mom sent article about an evil historical figure who had the name I told her I wanted for my baby

I'm Irish, and my curiosity was piqued by this as I've never heard of it. Lots of Googling of various phrases, nations, and dates brought me to nothing, as did skims of a couple of Wikipedia articles. Obviously I don't have specifics, and if it's niche I likely won't find it, but also I feel I should point out that the quality of the History Channel has been in steady decline for a while and now it's more known for conspiracy shows about aliens and Nazis. Maybe don't put too much weight behind it.

Anyway, don't let it bother you, OP. There are loads of people who share names with nasty historical figures. I think Adolf is the only one that didn't survive, but we've got plenty of people called Joseph (Stalin, Mengele), Vladimir (Vlad the Impaler), Christopher (Columbus), Ivan (the Terrible), and even more modern people like Jeffrey (Dahmer), Theodore (Bundy), etc. Unless the name is particularly unique and modern, chances are some nasty historical figure has borne it, and on a smaller scale, people will have personal negative associations with people with the name and whom they disliked.

Your mother is just being immature and controlling. It's fine to dislike a name or think it's not to your taste, but this might be her grandchild's name and how you feel is more important. It's you and (if applicable) your partner's choice, and unless the name is cruel or humiliating, everybody else should be polite and enthusiastic regardless of their feelings. To not only react in a visibly hostile way, but to then take time out of her day to Google any negative connotation she could find, and then send it to you? Who the hell finds out their grandchild's potential name and thinks "I'm going to go search for nasty associations to send to the baby's parent"? This is unhinged behaviour and, if I'm not being too bold, I doubt this is the only issue your mother has, nor the only time she's done something this selfish, hurtful, and self-centred.

Sorry for the length, but this is just not on, OP. Please don't let these immature actions ruin a name you genuinely love.

I really want to know the name though-

Because I saw someone in here name their baby Theodore and their last name was Bundy- Ted Bundy.

Also, my male name choice is also a great evil conqueror. That seriously has no bearing on my name choice. My cousin named his son after Alexander the great and his second was Roman to go along with the theme.

I'd also feel more inclined to name my child a name my mother would hate-

You can use close friends and family as a sounding board for potential choices, but when you pick a shortlist/baby name that should be private between you and the other parent.

Telling others before the baby is born just gives them incentive to try and change your mind before it's "set in stone".

Wow your mom's really manipulative and I'm guessing it's not limited to baby names!

The best advice I got as a brand new parent was that you have to be tough to be in that role. People are going to constantly give you negative feedback. If you put socks on your baby, someone's going to scold you for it. If you leave socks off your baby, someone's going to scold you for it. You have to be strong and confident in your decisions - and they are your decisions! Your mom had her baby; she shouldn't get to manipulate you emotionally into letting her take control of your baby. In your place I would be a lot less interested in what her feedback was on anything going forward because this was a terrible thing for her to do.

Who says the name is evil?

I share the same name as a historical figure who set a bunch of people on fire (I'm being intentionally vague bc I don't want my name posted). I love said historical figure and I love my name.

The only Spanish conqueror from 1300 would be El cid? Who kicked the moors out of Spain. Then Isabel and Ferdinand married re luniting a good chunk of Spain and financed Christopher Columbus. But no Irish in there. Anywhere.

Also conflating the Spanish armada and England with the 14 century is like saying we fought WWII at the same time as the revolutionary war.

Do pick your name and be happy.

Ugh this is so passive aggressive, and the fact that she's "subtly" getting the whole family on her side is pretty low. It would be one thing if she sent the article only to you... But sending it in the family chat is extra upsetting because it's like she wants to ruin the name for the rest of the family before they even get to hear it from you.

Why is it so hard for older women to just communicate directly?! She could just say something like "I'm not a huge fan of the name for these reasons..." or "I have some concerns about the name and this is why..." but by being indirect she's robbing you of the opportunity to easily address this with her.

Mom has lost her right to hear any further names under your consideration. Anytime she asks, you can say some variant of, “After what happened, we’re now keeping our cards close to the chest. You’ll know baby’s name when baby gets here!”

During pregnancy, when asked, I’d say, “Husband and I have a few contenders, but we’ll wait to see if it suits when baby’s here. Also, we don’t really want to open the name for commentary—folks have a lot of opinions. Once baby is here and the ink is dry on the birth certificate, all people can really say is, ‘Awh, what a beautiful name!’ Otherwise they’re assholes.” Tailor for your situation as appropriate.

There are evil people with every name. Nothing is original and everything has been tainted.

Ask her for her suggestions and then find a similar article to send to her, then use the name that you love. I'm sorry that you have to deal with her attitude, but don't give her the satisfaction of controlling the situation. You're the mama and the name is yours to give. She's clearly jealous of that.

I am rather curious about the name though, if you don't mind me asking what it is? I also respect it if you'd rather not say, of course.

What’s the name???

Also, not sure it matters. The bazillion people named Christopher aren’t automatically associated with Christopher Columbus. And he totally sucked.

This isn’t something to be upset about, it’s an opportunity!

• so cool! Maybe she’ll pull some of that energy when she’s born.

• thanks mom! I’m going to give her the full name now! Genghis Kahn Hernandez has a ring to it!

• what a cool history! I can’t wait to tell her about it!

• did you see the picture in that article? I had a replica commissioned for the nursery!

• wow! I’m going to have a seance to see if I can ask her some questions! Maybe she’ll have some ideas of how to raise my daughter to be as cool as her!

Look, as long as you aren’t naming your child Hitler, Stalin, or Pol Pot you’re ok. I can find a bad person with any name with a 5 second google search- just send me Diet Coke and a fruity vape and I’ll do it for you. ;)

Don’t share with your mom anymore. She’s just going to do this over and over.