September 2nd, 2023
84
Had my worst guest experience ever. I dare any other host to try to one up this. [Seattle, WA]
Earlier this year I finally hit the 5,000th 5 star review on my place, which is just incredible and I feel so blessed. But that didn’t happen by magic. The fact that 5,000+ guests have stayed at my villa and not one of them have rated my stay as anything less than perfect took me bending over backwards for some of the most deranged and unpleasant people I’ve ever encountered. To be clear, this has only been the case for 5% of my guests, but that’s still 250!HORRRIBLE Airbnb stories I’ve accumulated over the years. And I’m only saying this all to preface this: last night I had the worst experience of them all.
I communicated with this guest a few days in advance and he assured me he would arrive before 8 pm. Nope. dude rolled in at 3 am and instead of following any of the late check in instructions I sent him, he just started calling me. I didn’t wake up til the third call in a row, which I missed answering by a split second. Instead of calling again, he just blared his car horn for a whole minute. It was so obnoxiously loud, and I was still really disoriented as my waking brain barely understood what was going on. By the time I pieced together that it was my guest outside, I was so worried that the neighbors were gonna call the police that I didn’t even change, I just ran outside in my underwear and waved my arms for him to stop.
Despite his overly rude behavior, I gave him a big smile and offered to carry his bags in for him (remember, this is how I got 5,000 5 star reviews). He didn’t even say anything to me, he just popped the trunk and pointed to it, and grunted. I took his bags in and he followed me in. I started to give him him a mini tour and about thirty seconds in, he said “this won’t do” and demanded I take his bags back to the car. I asked what was wrong and told him I would be willing to make any accommodations to improve his stay. He shook his head and said “bags. Now.” I wasn’t going to argue— it was 3 freaking am— so I did it. As he started to drive off I stood in the gravel driveway and waved. He did 3 crazy donuts, covering me in dust, then sped off.
I woke up to a five star review. I’m so fucking confused. I have no one else left in my life to tell this. So here you go. Anyone had worse?
September 2nd, 2023
84
Comments:
RaiseVast
1
AlexandrianVagabond
1
AutoModerator
Please keep conversation civil and respectful
Remember to keep all communication with host/guest through Airbnb platform. Payments should be made only via Airbnb unless otherwise detailed in the listing description
If you're having issues, contact Airbnb by phone +1-844-234-2500
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
zultan8888
24
picardoverkirk
They may have split the villa into more than one listing!?
7
LuciusDickusMaximus
This. It’s 30 rooms
23
Fearless_Pizza_8134
So it’s a hotel.
22
[deleted]
I mean, if you didn't realize it was satire after the first sentence, then I don't know what to tell you.
12
Diagonair
Plus look at the name 🤦♀️
4
[deleted]
I appreciate OP's post. I'm tired of all the fake posts on this sub from disgruntled people and all around anti-capitalists. People come here to spin stuff without having ever stayed at an AirBnB in their lives.
1
Hellsbells247a
anti-capitalist :) :) :) :)
2
ProtonDeathRay
In one location???
3
wtfisthepoint
Sounds like he learned from your wife.
1
sicofonte
In another post in AITAH he is refusing to take is Karen wife out for dinner.
Yet
I have no one else left in my life to tell this.
Edit: I've been pointed out this is a shared account.
2
[deleted]
[deleted]
1
sicofonte
Oh, thanks.
1
quizzlie
This is a shared account. Check the profile.
1
Shoddy-Theory
AirBNB has been around for 15 years. So yes, it would take almost continuous occupancy with every guest giving a review.
2
wtf81
9
Diagonair
Oh no!
2
arizonavacay
OMG... how did the claim go with the platform?
1
wtf81
Actually, pretty painless. However, if i wasnt a contractor, it would've been much worse
1
blennit-medescue
9
SannaHanna
7
littlejohnr
Yeah I don’t believe it either
3
Acceptable_Bus_1959
3
somewhereonmars
I think Air BnB sent him, to test you??? They were thinking there’s NO way that many people left 5stars! Glad at least he did keep that 5 golden star review! Brovo!!
3
boogawoogaX
I'm sorry but I have to ask- Did you take his bags in and do the tour in your underwear? Or did you get a second to throw clothes on after waving at him to stop beeping? I can't shake the burning question!
3
RationalDB8
2
AustEastTX
2
lostprevention
2
Fearless_Pizza_8134
SlainJayne
Landlords don’t carry bags or wait around to check you in
2
James-the-Bond-one
An excerpt from
"Midsummer Night's Dream"
by LuciousDickusMaximus
A delightful drug-fueled delirium for all ages.
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended:
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
1
warranpiece
I had a very seemingly nice lady book my place. It was in our first year of service.
She showed up two hours early and asked why we weren't ready. I was there cleaning with my wife, and explained to her that our description, rules, and the text we sent her the night before all confirmed our check in is at 3. She said she was very unhappy. I said well I'm sorry you didn't see it, we will go as fast as we can. She said "we will just take it as is smart ass". I explained that won't do, as we have to change dirty sheet. She said "it's my bitch daughter staying in that bed.....it's already too clean for her".
I was taken a back. I know how I would handle this now but remember.....we were new.
Fast forward a lot of nonsense, we find about 10-14 16 year old girls passed out in their own vomit, covering the inside and outside of the property. We called CPS immediately and filed a police report. She booked it so her "bitch daughter" could rage without her present.
We installed a doorbell camera after that immediately.
1
picardoverkirk
I had 4 lads book (max guest number allowed). Said they wanted to check in at 15.00. I was there waiting for 2 hours, (this was before we had lockboxes) no answer from them when I called or wrote. I went home. At 20.00 they call me and said they have arrived, when the hell am I. I go back and let them in while they all complained that I should have been there waiting and they already wanting a discount.
Cut to 03.00, they have lock themselves out and I must come, now!. I go there, no sign of them again, again no answer. One hour later they arrived back after going for a drink.
When the left, I arrived to find them gone before the arrange check out time. Front door open, note from neighbours complaining about the loud music for days and hookers coming over all hours.
There was a knife with blood on it, blood on the walls in the bathroom, condoms dumped on the floor, bits of weed everywhere, and a little hill of coke on the table, empty beer can and dirty everywhere.
People are fucking weird man! I am glad you as lease got a 5 star review but like what are these people thinking!?!?
36
Friend-of-thee-court
Well... At least they left you the coke..
37
picardoverkirk
There was that :-P
7
maybelle180
But… would you do it? Shades of Pulp Fiction…
3
AllAboutMeMedia
Quickest turnover!
2
MillyHughes
Ok. You win. You just win this one. The only way you can top it is if someones Airbnb had used condoms, coke, weed, bloody knife...and they took a shit in one of the beds.
4
MrsKuroo
Amber Heard enters the chat.
1
Kcufasu
Sounds awful, though one thing caught my eye: "arrived to find them gone before the arrange check out time" I always tend to leave before a stated check out time and just leave the keys on a table or whatnot, never had anything other than postive reviews, genuine question, is this an issue to some hosts?
I already find it annoying when hosts tie me to a specific check in time weeks in advance (though i do understand, especially when they don't have lockboxes but i do wish i could at least wait until the day and keep them updated in case of delays especially as I'm usually arriving by train or even flights so it's not an exact science) but I'd never expected leaving could be an issue (as long as it's before the check out time ofc)?
3
picardoverkirk
In the past I arranged a walk through with guests before they left to check for damages together.
3
Kcufasu
On how long a stay? I actually wouldn't mind this on both arrival and departure as I've stayed at some places for several months recently and always been a bit worried about getting accused of a mark that was there before i arrived etc. On a short stay though seems more ott
2
picardoverkirk
I used to do it for all stays, I don't have the time any more .
2
arizonavacay
OMG I hope you did a police report AND advised ABB so they could be kicked off the platform. That is so scary. And there is definitely a prostitute missing in your city now.
I'd check the back yard for freshly dug graves!
3
LuciusDickusMaximus
Geez… maybe I got off easy 😂
8
picardoverkirk
I truly hope my past misery can help lighten yours ;-)
1
[deleted]
You're a liar
1
jennybo86
10
maybelle180
Birds aren’t real. He’s a government agent.
7
[deleted]
I do find birds pretty neat and fascinating, but they seem like the type of pet that's interesting for about a week, and then you realize you have a small child for the next half century.
7
LuciusDickusMaximus
😂 truly wtf
3
[deleted]
You're full of crap OP
1
James-the-Bond-one
How would you know it was TWO birds and not one or three (or four)? Did you perform DNA testing on their shit?
1
jennybo86
Windows.
1
James-the-Bond-one
I'm more of a Mac type of guy.
Seriously, did you really peep through the window "for the week" to witness them flying around uncaged and count them? Even if just once, that's a grave invasion of privacy. Careful out there...
1
jennybo86
No, I don’t even live in the same city. My neighbours told me there were two birds. They told me at the end of the stay too, not even during for me to ask the guest to leave.
2
James-the-Bond-one
Bummer. I have an attic "ultrasonic squirrel repeller" that I now hope works for birds too.
1
smeeti
4
LuciusDickusMaximus
Transcendental meditation. Oh, and being a stoner helps
23
picardoverkirk
"People say weed make you lazy and unmotivated....LIES!.....it just help you understand some thing are not worth the effort!"
-Bill Hicks
9
maybelle180
And a serial killer probably
1
im_with_the_cats
OP is full of shit and is just making things up.
134 days ago OP had a husband: https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12vrtfr/my_husband_claimed_to_have_cooked_mexican_for_our/
212 days ago OP has been a bartender for 7 years: https://www.reddit.com/r/bartenders/comments/10szxj2/should_i_be_stopping_people_who_slip_something/
53 days ago OP is a high school student: https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/14y1c17/should_you_know_anatomy_in_elementary_school_if/
52 days ago they work at an import/export company: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/14yzztj/aitah_for_refusing_to_clean_the_company_microwave/
37 days ago they're in their 10th year of being a teacher: https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/15c3yd4/every_year_these_kids_come_back_with_a_new/
9 days ago they started a part time after school internship: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1614sno/thought_the_ceo_was_asking_me_for_a_list_of/****
1
Thebeatybunch
You went through all of that trouble to post these links but missed the most important part of their profile.
The account is a PCA. Pakistani Communal Account. Of course all of the stories will be different.
There are a few of these types of accounts, , for obvious reasons, even if aren't technically completely necessary like they used to be. Still helpful and needed by some but not as many as previously.
1
im_with_the_cats
A Communal Account called LuciusDickusMaximus is fucking stupid to begin with. They deserve repudiation if only for the choice of screen names.
1
Thebeatybunch
Oh 100000% agree.
I've encountered some stupid names on here but that one, by far, takes the cake.
1
biznatch11
A group account of Pakistani users. Yet they mention a New York roommate in this post, they claim to show a photo from Costco in this post, they ask about investing in a Tim Hortons restaurant in Canada in this post, and they've got a picture of a product from Trader Joe's in this post. From what I can find there's no Costco or Trader Joe's in Pakistan. And they graduated from Boston University in 1963 according to this comment. And that's just the recent stuff, there's more if you keep looking through their account.
1
Thebeatybunch
Hey, I don't know the ins and outs of each person.
Just that it was created as a PAC. Also, Pakistanis can move to the US. I don't know about Canada, though, since I don't live ther3.
It's Reddit though so take everything with a grain of salt.
1
biznatch11
The claimed point of that PCA was because people in Pakistan couldn't easily access reddit. Clearly the people or person using that account isn't in Pakistan. Also come on, they're clearly a troll. They made this post and said it was their picture but it's just a picture they copied from Wikipedia: https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/102qlhv/this_guy_showed_up_in_my_backyard_i_live_on_a/
1
Thebeatybunch
I'm not saying people on the internet don't lie, because well...we've all read a lot of Reddit.
All I AM saying is that the account is a PCA. Who know who all has access to it after all of this time.
I didn't look but how old is the account?
1
biznatch11
And I'm saying that PCA isn't a real thing, it was made up by that user as an attempted excuse so they can post all kinds of fake stuff.
1
Thebeatybunch
You could be right. I'm definitely not the authority on allowed social media in Pakistan.
I know Reddit blocked some NSFW stuff for some countries but I'm not sure if the fabled PCA stemmed from that.
1
biznatch11
You don't have to be a authority to know this is fake it just takes some critical thinking.
https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditPCAs/comments/jt0jb4/what_is_a_pakistani_commune_account/
Now, nearly 3% of accounts on reddit.
You really think there's over a million of these kinds of accounts yet there are no other references to them online other than this one user's posts?
Here's more reasons why it's BS:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/jjy9kf/comment/gagrtpn/
1
Thebeatybunch
Do you not understand that I'm pretty much conceding here?
I've said since the beginning, "take it with a grain of salt " "people lie on the internet" "it's reddit, people lie" or some variation of those words.
1