October 29th, 2023
93
Am I wrong for only putting antiperspirant on one pit?
I have a “dead pit” on my right arm, which if you are lucky enough to not need to know this terminology, means that the glands that cause sweat production from my hairy chasm do not function. Thus, I see no purpose in putting antiperspirant on this “dead pit.” However, at my company gym locker room this Friday, a Senior Associate noticed that I only put antiperspirant on one of my pits. I started to explain to him that only one needed to have antiperspirant. He interrupted me and said “dude, you’re not doing yourself any favors with this origin story for your gross habit” and left. I think that was rude of him, and I see no reason to apply antiperspirant to my armpit which already does not perspirate. But my wife told me that I should just start doing it, because if the Senior Associate starts a rumor about me and other people see me applying only on one side, that could be a “career-ruining” social thing. I told her she was being ridiculous and she should have been supportive of my disability. She laughed that I even called it that. Who is right? Am I wrong?
October 29th, 2023
93
Comments:
wmciner1
I don't think this is about being right or wrong as much as needing to decide if this is a hill worth dying on, because if this spreads it might make things awkward for you at work
Imo it isn't worth it but it's really up to you
118
RepresentativePin162
Please.
If a rumour starts of this guy having a 'disgusting habit' it'd be a simple answer as to why and then the 'boss' is the one whose a fucking idiot.
Why does some other person get a say in how OP puts his deodorant on.
It's not a disgusting habit to not do something that isn't required. It's like telling the guy who's got no chest hair off for not waxing it.
30
cryssyx3
I also don't think it's a "disgusting" habit. some folks just can't use antiperspirant.
3
OmiOmega
Because corporate culture is always fair and listens to reason. Once a rumor starts from the top, nobody us going to listen to the lowly peon involved. Sorry no promotion for you Mr Senior associate thinks you won't be a good fit in that role.
8
[deleted]
It's a Senior Associate. That's second from the bottom. Lol.
And an HR manager would be a complete idiot not to immediately address an employee spreading malicious rumors about someone's medical condition. Slam dunk hostile workplace environment harassment lawsuit if it impacts OP and HR did not act. OP needs to go to HR just to get it on record that this exchange happened and OP felt harassed and made uncomfortable by that employee.
4
kiwiloden
If it wasn't at work, then I'd say Fuck 'Em. But as a person who has to play all of my politics very close to my chest at work so I don't get fired, I would be lying out my ass to make them like me
14
[deleted]
This is a slam dunk for OP. He just needs to go to HR and tell them that this Senior Associate is being hostile towards him regarding a medical condition. That will put a stop to it immediately. And if he does start spreading rumors about it, that associate is fucked.
3
wmciner1
See that's how it SHOULD work, but it usually isn't how it actually works. If that associate is well-liked by the supervisors they aren't fucked for spreading false rumors, not even a little bit.
OP will be retaliated against and although there are laws against retaliation in most (if not all) states they aren't enforced strictly enough, and it's a LOT harder to win a wrongful termination suit or prove in court you were the victim of a hostile work environment than reddit seems to think it is. The legal system isn't on workers' sides, and the sooner people realize that and figure out how to play the game accordingly, the easier their life is gonna be for them.
OP can do what they want. They aren't wrong. They just need to decide if this is a fight they want to have or not.
1
Marty939393
The fact this comment has so many upvotes is scary.
4
weemmza
10
DrKittyLovah
To be fair BO is produced by the bacteria feeding on the sweat and producing an enzyme that reeks. No sweat = no feeding the bacteria.
3
KonradWayne
8
gordner911
I would continue as is but add putting it on the sole of one foot. Opposite the armpit you do, I’d say. Never explain why or answer any questions about it, keep them guessing. The air of mystery will propel you to the top of the corporate ladder and likely set a trend.
18
[deleted]
19
Conscious-Big707
6
Mr_BigglesworthIII
5
chimera4n
If he was watching you long enough to notice that you only put antiperspirant on one arm pit, the guys a creeper.
You're not wrong, maybe mention it to HR, with a hint that you're worried about sexual harassment. Stop any rumours about your hygiene in it's tracks.
4
Ferndaisy_Plumrain
4
SLPERAS
3
volball
3
kia-audi-spider-legs
3
iainvention
4
OtherwiseDrama5374
7
ImThatBitch_
2
Crystal-Clear-Waters
You don’t have a disability. They don’t hand out handicapped parking passes for an armpit that dosent sweat.
If your Senior is going to talk about your armpit, how is that going to sound to the people he’s talking to? Like he’s taking about another dudes armpit. Not gonna happen.
Weird interaction. Let it go.
2
Green_Mix_3412
1
SirGkar
1
corianderjimbro
1
katatak121
How is missing sweat glands on one armpit a disability? Serious question. Having your deodorant last twice as long doesn't seem like an accessibility issue.
If you choose to disclose your condition to people you work with, that's up to you. Same goes if you decide to just let them think you're weird and gross, or pretend you don't have that issue and apply deodorant to both pits when you have an audience. None of those options is right or wrong, though the 2nd one is probably inadvisable, even if you have to insist on sharing your "backstory."
1
Kennedygoose
1
Rare-Progress5009
NTA. Why is this guy such a weirdo? I would never pay such close attention to somebody putting on deodorant UNLESS they had a bodily odor problem. So I guess have your wife or someone else confirm 100% that the dead pit hasn’t resurrected - or if surface bacteria isn’t causing unwanted odors. Maybe in his own weird way, senior associate was trying to look out for you.
1
joypunx
0
AreolaCherryCola
multural_carxism
0
[deleted]
Pudding_Hero
pie_12th
HorrorPsychology420
It’s wasteful tho if he doesn’t need it. His deodorant could last twice as long.
2
KeyDiscussion5671
1
Pot_Flashback1248
1
Infamous-Potato-5310
1
[deleted]
1
Resident-Garlic9303
Does your dead pit smell? If no not a problem.You aren't wrong and it's not your problem. Could you do it to save issues yes but you don't have to.
It's not exactly apples to apples but I have a huge scar on the side of my head it's not gross or anything. I've had some coworkers or friends say I should comb over or whatever to hide it at work for numerous reasons one being professional in a office whatever that means.
I shouldn't have to hide my head to conform to whatever they think. It's a scar not a vulgar tattoo or my ass. It's part of my body. It's not my problem. Could I easily comb over yeah but I don't want to.
1
[deleted]
This is weird. Why is he watching you apply deodorant? Why is he brushing off a perfectly reasonable explanation? Why does he think you’d only put it on one armpit? Why is he so rude to you?
You’re not wrong for what you do, but this guy is a total weirdo. I’d just stay away from him tbh. Also, I’m not sure a non sweaty armpit is a disability. It’s true your sweat glands lack function, but it doesn’t affect you in any negative way, and you wouldn’t need any medical support or any concession in order to function in society or at home.
87
Shoddy_Background_48
Agreed. I wish i had this 'disability' in both pits!
13
Earthling386
39
QueenIgelkotte
Every office I know of (parents/ friends/ myself have worked there) have had some sort of gym space. My moms last place of work even had a massage room.
7
sneezhousing
I'm with her perception is everything. I would at least at work put it on both pits.
I get your point and what it should be like but we don't live in a world of should
34
Marty939393
We live in the world we do because of people like you.
MaxSpringPuma
Not wrong. Report to HR. Unless you smell and he thinks that's the reason, he should mind his own business.
Weird that he looks at you so much that he notices that you only apply to one armpit
10
Professional-Can-670
Came here for something like this. Could this be discrimination against a medical condition?
5
[deleted]
15
Professional-Can-670
Exactly! Couldn’t this be construed as some sort of discrimination against a medical condition?
4
[deleted]
I hadn't even considered this but absolutely!
2
MisScillaneous
I still get weird looks because of hairy pits. I can't shave, I break out in hives and it feels like lemon in an open wound. I have to wax, and living in a small town it's hard to find and expensive af. 🙃
6
[deleted]
Oof, I'm sorry to hear this! I'm looking forward to the time when society doesn't look at hair with such disdain. It's just men pushing their beauty standards on us to make a buck. Free the hair, ladies! Or do whatever is best for you because it's your life! : )
3
Ginjitzu
What kind of other worldly dystopia have I just found myself in where not only does a man feel obliged to explain or defend or hide a personal medical issue, but that seemingly most commenters here actually agree that he should do something completely unnecessary for the sake of social propriety? This is so shocking to me because I've seen people do some awfully strange shit in gym locker rooms and the general reaction from everyone else is to ignore it and maybe share a private joke about it out of earshot of the person. In my culture, if I were to approach another about their decision to not use deodorant, I'd be told to mind my own f#cking business.
I'm sorry I don't have an actual answer to your question OP because normally, I'd tell you to just keep doing what you're doing and tell anyone who asks it's none of their business, but it would seem that your culture is so alien to my own that that may not work for you.
6
Ginjitzu
Furthermore, if a colleague ever referred to me as gross, that would be an immediate HR complaint, but again, I'm not sure if you live in a country where you have the same legal protections against workplace reprisals that I enjoy.
6
redballetshoes
Where do you live?
3
Ginjitzu
Ireland.
3
[deleted]
But it was not a colleague. It was a boss.
3
Ginjitzu
Wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to me.
5
[deleted]
Then you are a stronger person than i.
0
Ginjitzu
Not necessarily. I just benefit from the comprehensive labour laws we have here, and they give me the confidence to be assertive about my rights.
4
Terrible-Second-2716
6
PessaLee
It's a disorder called anhidrosis. I can see why he'd think of it as a disability purely from the word, tho. Dis (not) able, not able to sweat kinda thing.
3
katatak121
I can see it being a disability if it affects a person to such an extent they can barely sweat at all, and require specific ambient temperatures to stay safe. But all it does to OP is cut their deodorant budget in half!
2
PessaLee
I agree with you, I'm not saying it is a disability. I'm just pointing out that purely from the English wording standpoint, it looks like it could be so that's why he confuses it.
2
username456700
Thank you! I was waiting for someone to mention that. I would love for him to explain how this is a disability.
2
ChipChippersonFan
Other than calling it a disability, you are not wrong. I don't think you should change either. If you change, and start putting it on both pits, it's not going to quell any rumors. It's just going to make people think that you were lying that one time, or people will see you as a pussy who's unnecessarily using antiperspirant because a senior associate told you to.
Keep doing what you're doing. If anyone else asks, tell them the story. It's highly unlikely that anyone else is an asshole like that one guy.
0
Consol-Coder
Never forget that a half truth is a whole lie.
1
ChipChippersonFan
Don't get me wrong: if OP could go back in time, I would tell him to act like a normal person and put it on both sides. But he's already told that senior associate the truth, so now he needs to stick with that.
0