LuciusDickusMaximus's reddit snoovatar

LuciusDickusMaximus Archive

December 25th, 2023

13

/r/NoStupidQuestions

2 years ago

What could it mean if people are trying to buy the rights to your life story but you are a nobody?

My wife sent me to the grocery store to pick up yams last minute for Xmas Eve dinner. While in the aisle, I was approached by a man I had never seen before who had a contract in hand with my name on it. He said he would like to buy the rights to my life story for a shit ton of money— I’m talking 6 zeroes. I told him to buzz off, thinking he was some sort of con man. He was very polite and said he understood my hesitance, then handed me his card and told me two cryptic things: first, to “not go with the other guys who were gonna make the same offer” and also to have a happy new year as he “had a feeling 2024 was going to be a big one for me.”

I googled his name when I got to the car and he’s legit— he’s a top level executive at Warner Brothers who is mentioned in a couple articles, and his picture online is definitely the guy that was in the store.

What could this mean? I’m an accountant who enjoys my life very much but have never done anything interesting, nor do I expect to make any “big waves” before I die.

December 25th, 2023

13

Comments:

EnderSword

2 years ago

They might be planning to kill you in a really interesting way

2

ParameciaAntic

2 years ago

If you're not just making this up, it might be a case of mistaken identity.

125

[deleted]

2 years ago

Then better hurry up and cash in that money before they notice

33

FortuneTellingBoobs

2 years ago

They've got the wrong guy.

Unless you're, like, Trumps accountant or something you're not telling us. Cuz his math ain't mathin.

63

squirrelcat88

2 years ago

Is his name Lucifer? Don’t sign that contract!

15

saveyboy

2 years ago

Schizophrenia

15

phtcmp

2 years ago

I think you maybe misunderstood: he might have been asking for the rights to buy your life…

2

kleinakinsyn

2 years ago

What if he knows you're about to be in the midst of something huge! Like unbeknownst to you, youve been working for the Mafia and they're gonna get popped and he wants the rights to the crazy story you're about to go through before it' has even happened! Or, a scam/mistaken identity.

12

espirose

2 years ago

These types of fantasies are all over this account, obvious troll post.

12

kwyl

2 years ago

troll

21

Ok-Explanation-1223

2 years ago

I have a friend who has sold the rights to his life story, but his is pretty freaking interesting and the guys he sold it to are good friends who work in the industry. This doesn’t sound real to me.

11

EvilSnack

2 years ago

...and then you woke up.

"Man, what a crazy dream."

6

Hairy_Square_4658

2 years ago

Get a carbon monoxide detector.

6

Ok-Vacation-8109

2 years ago

This is fucking weird.

7

Cugel57

2 years ago

Maybe this top level exec is from the future.

3

[deleted]

2 years ago

Why and how did he track you down in a grocery store? That’s the part that is super weird to me.

Did he just follow you from your house or something? Wouldn’t the money amount be negotiated, instead of just printed out right there?

Anyone can hand out cards with a big name on it

3

One_Subject3157

2 years ago

Is the Warner Brothers executive here with us?

3

jedimstr

2 years ago

  1. “Top Level Executives” aren’t the ones in the field making offers for people’s life stories. They have people for that.
  2. They wouldn’t approach someone in a random grocery store to do it. Too public for what is typically a closed door type of deal.
  3. If we’re talking Warner Brothers here, they’re not giving anyone money for their life story at the moment. They’re currently cutting all projects except reality tv and remakes/reboots and thinking about merging with Paramount.

Out of all the most unrealistic things about this scenario, Warner Bros is the dead give away. I’d believe it more if they said the guy turned around and said they wanted three-fiddy and was the goddamn Lochness Monster.

3

GetOffMyLawn1729

2 years ago

Sounds like a scam that has been around for, at least, hundreds of years. Check the contract carefully, and you'll probably find that not only will they have the rights to your life story, but they will own your immortal soul.

Whatever you do, do not sign in blood. And wear a silver crucifix to the meeting.

p.s. no point in asking a lawyer, they all work for the other side.

6

dmangan56

2 years ago

This shit happens to me a couple of times a week.

2

Zagrycha

2 years ago

Three very obvious options:

1.) You're lying and making this up.

2.) He's lying and making this up.

3.) You are both telling the truth, but there is a severe misunderstanding neither of you bothered to clarify.

The result of all three scenarios is that it doesn't mean anything, problem solved ( ✌︎'ω')✌︎

2

mekonsrevenge

2 years ago

Did he, perchance, look like Christopher Lloyd or Michael J. Fox? He might know something you don't (yet).

1

ckhk3

2 years ago

Accountant… sounds like they know of some stuff for the people you work for and their going down, they want the story of the books

1

Not_Phil_Spencer

2 years ago

It means take the money

1

mylifewillchange

2 years ago

I would have asked to see the cash first...

1

dancewithme12345

2 years ago

He's trying to get your data to exploit you financially. Maybe he's trying to launder his money somehow.

1

13RepStanPerson

2 years ago

This sounds very made up

78

[deleted]

2 years ago

Yeah I don't believe a "top level executive" would be approaching people in a grocery store.

Even if OP were actually someone of note, they'd do their research and send someone to your home. Not follow you to where you do your shopping.

I smell a creative writing exercise.

27

God_Bless_A_Merkin

2 years ago

It might be made up, but I like the concept!

23

ThaneOfCawdorrr

2 years ago

Only three possibilities:

  1. Made up
  2. Mistaken identity
  3. Guy is a fraud with a fake card

49

robertsihr1

2 years ago

  1. He owes a friend of yours a favor and it’s all an elaborate prank

2

tarsometatarsus

2 years ago

Lol, OP just lies on reddit for fun/karma. According to their post history, along with a wife they also have a boyfriend and pick up guys from bars, and they work IT in a fire station while also working at a UPS store taping up packages and also is an accountant.

24

ThePhiff

2 years ago

No wonder they want his life story!

14

86400spd

2 years ago

The real hero's comment is always buried.
Thank you, Internet Friend!

4