Am I wrong for getting my engagement ring appraised and comparing the value to my fiancé’s W2 to see if he used three month’s salary?

„Dickus Maximus“.

Clearly a woman‘s user account 🤡

Troll

If you don't care then why did you do it? If this is even real. Reads like bait.

Yes, wrong. Your parents aren't trading you for chickens, this BS tradition needs to die. He used an entire MONTH OF PAY to buy your entitled ass a ring. Get the fuck over yourself.

Lol this is so obviously bait it's ridiculous. If you're going to make up fake scenarios to bait at least be smart enough to write them in a way that's realistic.

What do you even get out of dozens of people telling you you're an asshole?

Do I suck? I’m so nauseous and feel horrible for all of this and just wish I never looked at his W2.

No worries with your attitude, you have very little chance of making it to the altar.

and if that happens, with your deameanor (sp) you 2 won't last too long.

Too arrogant, and you are wrong.

Well 1. Pawn shops are not the place to go for appraisal, even if the person is a trusted family friend.

2. That 3 months salary crap is a ploy from the diamond companies

You are wrong, but you know this already.

Prepare for him to ask the ring back.

No, you’re not wrong. Although this is something better discussed in person in advance.

Some people like nice things. No sin in that.

The other commenters bragging about how little they spent on wives is weird.

Gently bring up that you expecting something different

This has to be trolling, if not yes you suck. You do care because of how you are acting so shallow. You care more about the money spent on the ring than the guy, the relationship you have. A BS rule has you doubting your fiance, that's unfair to him.

You went to a pawn shop for an appraisal? Places known for notoriously low balling is not where you go for appraisals.

A month's wage in this economy on a ring is still a lot but your outdated feelings of 3 months wage is ruining your relationship. Even though you deny it, you're adhering to the BS and hurting your relationship by avoiding your fiance. Once he finds out you got it appraised for the BS reason he will likely be hurt but he deserves to know about it, don't lie as to why you were there, you need to face the issue. I feel for your fiance, hopefully your apology outweighs the damage.

I don’t really care about these so-called rules

it’s making me so upset that he only used one month’s salary

Which one is it? Both of these statements cannot be true.

He probably makes over 10, 000 a month and she’s still not satisfied ..

But but I deserve more !!!

First off ewwww

My ring was 10k. My husband's was about 9k.

We spent this much because our now 30 year mortgage was paid off. We got married at the court house for $50. Had dinner with 20 family and friends at a restaurant for about 1k (maggianos has a great family dinner experience). Honeymoom for 5 days at Secrets in Jamaica about 5k. Been married 5 months and no debt.

We splurged because we aren't going to do upgrades years down the line.

I don't think anyone should be worried about how much anything is compared to someone's wages.

Your man picked what he wanted for you. My husband knows I'm particular about my jewelry because I have large fingers so he let me pick my ring and I told him to pick his. We made sure it was something we can buy out right.

You should have had that conversation about expectations in the dating stages. I would be hurt if my husband later went to appraise jewelry I got him. What is the point?

You may be getting married for the wrong reason. It's just weird behavior.

I'm 38 and my husband is 49 we have a 2 year old. I am not sure if you're just not mature yet but this is not the way to go. .

At first....

I don’t really care about these so-called rules. His love is definitely enough for me.

Nekt minit.

he only used one month’s salary

His love is measured by money.

He used to be such a romantic

He's no longer a romantic.

Yes you are wrong.

Snooping into my financials is far worse then checking the ring value.

I hope your fiance finds a better spouse in the future.

What the fuck is wrong with you? You don’t deserve him. The “3 month rule”, like what fucking bullshit is that?

One of the most important things to a healthy marriage is financial literacy, the fact that he didn’t blow 3 months salary on a ring shows he’s very smart and good with money. That’s a GOOD thing.

Is that even a question? Of course you are wrong. The whole scheme with diamond engagement rings is idiotic but sure, let's entertain the idea. If he is making "quite a lot more than you thought" he already used 3 month salary from a more average rate. If you make let's say 20k a month you have to be either stupid or just have too much money to spend 60k on a ring that you can simply drop and lose or you can even be targeted specifically to have it stolen.

I don't know why anyone would buy into this "3 month salary rule", it was obviously made up by jewlery shops and popularized by bros who had nothing else to brag about (especially if they make like 1k a month). My wife's ring for example cost me about 20% of my monthly salary and she was very happy about it. I simply found a great deal at a good local shop and that was it. I was planning to spend a bit more tbh but it was there and it was perfect. No regrets.

Yes you do suck/are wrong. And it sounds like you already know it?

"Listen, I don’t really care about these so-called rules. His love is definitely enough for me. And the price tag of a ring is not going to make me love him any less. But for some reason it’s making me so upset that he only used one month’s salary."

A) what the hell does the price of the ring matter? I have always hated that convention because the ring should be something you think your Fiance will love and not just some price tag.

B) You really sound and look like a gold digger right now. Like you had to snoop through his tax forms to find out how much money he was making. And then went to a pawn shop to see how much the ring was worth. It is just gross

C) Hopefully you feeling the need to get it appraised and getting caught makes your fiance realize what type of person you are and he makes a decent prenup before the actual wedding.

There is no level to describe how much of an AH you are. You say it doesn't matter to you...but yet you did this?!

You deserve a ring from a quarter machine with an attitude like that. Even that may be more than you deserve.

it's such a waste of money at a time when such funds are better used elsewhere.

that said, over 20 years ago I got my wife a triple engagement ring, 1.6ct totally weight. I use to be a geologist and so I found the loose stones and had them set. actually didn't even cost me a months salary but we also closed on our existing home a week after our honeymoon. both mortgage and title solely in my name because I didn't need help.

the other thing is, his month is how much better than most people your age.

honestly, what you did and how you think is a huge red flag and in his shoes I'd seriously reassess whether you're someone that can do lifelong.

how much % wise do you earn compared to your finance since we've the anonymity of reddit. you fearless enough to have that convo here too?

Listen, I don’t really care about these so-called rules.

Except . . . . you do care enough to take the ring to get it appraised.

Yep, you're wrong.

3 months salary? Are you insane? This kinda stuff why I'm happy I didn't marry a western woman.

I used 500 dollars for all the rings in my relationship.. And we've been married 6 years with 2 kids. You are wrong.... And a shitty human being.