TIFU by assuming a super religious man was a sex worker and asking him for advice

I’m an extrovert and it takes very little for me to insert myself into someone else’s conservations. I can’t help myself. On the bus this morning I overheard guy across the aisle say that his “Only Fans is blowing up.” I immediately perked up and as soon as there was a pause in his conversation I said excuse me and said I overheard that he mentioned he was a sex worker. He raised an eyebrow at this, but I assumed he was thinking my eavesdropping was rude.

I apologized and explained I was just really desperate for advice as I was trying to start up in sex work but didn’t really know what my “thing” could be to set me apart. I began to explain the unique kinds of sexual avenues I’ve heard of— foot stuff, zoo play, tissue warmers, bondage, horn honkers— and that I was not really comfortable with those.

The guy told me he had no idea what I was talking about, and that he was not a sex worker. He asked me to leave him alone and said he would pray for me to find peace from my “sick thoughts”. That’s when I noticed the cross around his neck.

I kept listening in on his conversation, and really paid attention to what he was saying this time, which seemed to be some elaborate story about the sweltering heat at his office at the shelter he works at. Apparently the air conditioning unit was busted and he hasn’t been able to get any relief.

I looked up the name of the shelter that he mentioned and it’s run through this super strict Coptic church. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why he said that he was blowing up on Only Fans until I said it out loud a couple times and realized he most definitely said something like his “only fan is blowing up” which makes sense since he was later complaining about scorch marks. Now I’m embarrassed as hell.

TL;DR: my big fat mouth and my small ears got me to describe lewd kinks to a religious man in detail