March 5th, 2025
6,571
My ex gf left this funky plant at my place, instead of throwing it out I nursed it back to health and now it looks like this:
Metaphor for my healing journey after she ripped my heart out and stomped on it :)
March 5th, 2025
6,571
Comments:
ScienceMomCO
7,819
Mr_Pletz
"Nursed back to health."
I'm losing it over here.
1,085
mirrrje
Nursing it back to health involved added water to the jar, that’s literally all lol
347
Lumpy-Diver-4571
Pruned
56
mirrrje
This is true, pulled out the dead ones etc. Buts it’s funnier being so overly simple
61
Slumunistmanifisto
Those are his goddamn heart break onions Susan, have some respect.....
109
hummingbird_mywill
😭🤣🤣
8
AntPretend1194
They will make you cry on so many levels like the layers of an onion. 😝
4
MsFoxieMoxie
Bahahahahaaaa!!!! I’m dead!! 🤣🤣🤣
2
Spare-Answer-9878
Putting them in water is a chore
20
Primary-Border8536
I'm confused like he must be joking, right?
1,050
playbight
100 thought this was the circlejerk sub
651
Humaneredditor
I know what you mean I had to double check the name🤣
114
lego_pachypodium
Me too 😂🤣😅
16
Fit_Caterpillar_7755
😂🤣🤣
2
Affectionate-Size129
I just went to double check the name of the group too! LMAO
2
NoFun3799
Wait, that’s not where I am?? Lost Redditor. So. Lost.
22
playbight
Nofun being lost, is it?
10
NoFun3799
Living my username on the daily
4
playbight
Sofun being your alter ego?
2
NoFun3799
SoFun after 2L of white wine
5
herrvictor
Literally did the same
8
Creative-Fan-7599
Years ago, I had a point where I was between places to live and my sister offered to keep my things, including my plants, at her place until the place I was waiting to move into opened up.
She was never really a plant person but I figured I had easy to care for plants and as long as they were getting enough light and water they would be fine.
I came over to her house one day about a week after I brought all my stuff over and she had a look on her face of pure guilt and anxiety.
She told me that most of the plants were happy, but there was one that she’d been trying everything to get it to “come back to life”, and it wasn’t working. Watered it, moved it around to different windows, even got some fertilizer for it. She said it was in a really pretty pot so she knew it had to be one that I really liked.
I’m totally mystified by now, because I didn’t think I had any plants in pots like she was describing so I asked her to just show me.
It was a stick. I had brought everything to her house including a pot of dirt that once held a climbing plant, and had a stick inside that was used as a trellis. She was frantically trying to revive a literal stick for an entire week, and never even suspected that it hadn’t shown up at her house as a happy little houseplant.
127
SlashYG9
This deserves its own dedicated post! I'm cackling at the visual of your sister watering a trellis. Holy shit 😅😅
36
Creative-Fan-7599
Haha it’s one of my favorite memories of her. That, and going to a Chinese restaurant where she asked for “Generals Toes” instead of General tso. She was totally serious, looked at me like I was an uncultured idiot and told me everyone knows the s is silent. She has a heart of gold, but she can be ditzy as hell.
30
foxiez
Thats cute tbh lol she took the job serious
12
ParticularCraft3
That is a great story. She knew your plants were important to you, so they were important to her, despite the fact she clearly knew nothing about them 😂 seriously though it's adorable.
6
Creative-Fan-7599
It’s been almost ten years and it still makes me laugh every time I have reason to think about it. But it also makes my heart feel warm and fuzzy, because she really was going out of her way to help.
4
skyerippa
HAHA that's the best
2
RhubarbGoldberg
This is an amazing story, thank you for sharing!! Hilarious!!
2
ManiacFive
Wholesome sister win
2
Then-Plan-4689
They are
529
FloraMaeWolfe
Reminds me of the time I forgot an onion in the cabinet and it sprouted. I shoved it in some random soil in a hanging pot outside and forgot about it. It survived two years before it got too cold and died.
52
Ok_Breadfruit1894
Bulb onions are biennial. They only live two years, seed and then die. My local native bees loooove when I leave them to bloom.
21
FloraMaeWolfe
The one I planted multiplied in some way. I wasn't really paying much attention to it but it did great with the lack of attention. It would have keep living in some manner had it not froze to death. The bitter cold night turned it into a jelly mess.
10
senadraxx
Which is funny, because that's the opposite of my green onion experience. Those suckers fill their leaves with a weird onion gel when they're over a year old or mature enough to flower. Will happily stay buried under snow. OP Can, quite literally, stick them in some dirt (i recommend 3 gallons per plant, I'm not joking) and get a million green onion seeds for years to come.
Those suckers get leek-sized at the base. I'm grilling scapes this year.
6
PasgettiMonster
I stick onions that sprout into the corner of my raised beds all the time. That way I can keep chopping the greens off them until eventually they flower and then I scatter pretty little white oniony flowers on my food.
4
flyfishfriend
What's onions, precious?
10
H0n3yB1111
Pickled onions anyone? ! Love the thought behind this!
56
sparksgirl1223
My husband did it with a beer can once and they took over the kitchen🤣
35
invisiblizm
She must be the lady of shallots.
12
RhubarbGoldberg
So well played, holy shit
2
BibblingnScribbling
This is hiding way too far down
2
MontagueStreet
I bet she has auburn hair
2
GeologistSweet9645
💀💀💀
10
Galaxy_Hitchhiking
Lmao
8
youlooksocooI
Green onions are plants I guess
4
[deleted]
Cry’ne 😭™️
8
mywifeahh
I changed it to ‘some green onions in a jar,’ but then sung it to the melody of Pulling Mussels from a Shell for fun.
2
Illustrious-Pin7102
Haha, you can grow those in a pile of dog shit, without ever watering it, under a deck, in 10degree weather.
2
[deleted]
Lord have mercy! Funky things lol
Dude forgot the main ingredient in fried rice.
2
FlinflanFluddle4
Shah he needs this
2
Viridian_Cobra
I knew it looked off
2
[deleted]
This comment made me laugh my ass off
2
Candyyymannn
😂😂
2
strangesticouldfind
I am cackling
2
BunchDangerous8488
I was thinking it looked like green onions lol!!
2
FishingStreet3238
💚🧅😂
2
[deleted]
Hahhahaha top comment did not disappoint
2
cheezza
I’m laughing so hard, this wasn’t even supposed to be funny
2
ethereality111
Lmfaooooo
2
[deleted]
Lmfao I saw this and I’m like wait … is this a joke.
2
Mchamp5
😂😂😂😂😂My very first thought: “ is it me or are those green onions?!?” I’m dying 😂😂. Sorry OP.
2
FinancialBad4099
More likes than the actual post 💀
2
YodaYogurt
🤣🤣🤣
2
bioxkitty
Shhh he needs this 😂
2
Training_Appeal_5153
thicwith2cs
Oh hey you’re doing this successfully! Do you know why mine would keep browning at the top? They’re like 3 weeks old and it comes back after I chop it off :/ it’s in indirect bright light please help
165
[deleted]
[deleted]
154
TheScaredMonkey
Queue David Guetta - Love is Gone
20
GraciousPeacock
Mine do that too and I grow them outdoors in a grow bag. Usually you're supposed to snip from the bottom of the bundle since it's usually several chives growing together
35
FVWN_666
You can tell that they’re only truly browning at the tops where you’ve snipped them! I generally cut at the base for that reason. But sometimes you only need a little bit, and that’s fine too. It’s not harmful really - just cut lower next time and remove the unusable brown parts!
28
cottoneyegob
The brown part is the Ziploc that keeps the rest of the onion fresh
19
CallMeFishmaelPls
Great analogy
3
Jedidea
I have the same thing going on with mine and I haven’t snipped them :/
3
Training_Appeal_5153
Hi! I’m sorry to say but it only looks like it’s not browning at the top because these had just been cut a couple days ago. 😅
6
bloodreina_
Might just be weaker shoots running out of energy.
3
Consistent-Meal4441
If you have mineral rich water it may be outside the desirable pH range. Plants can only uptake nutrients effectively at the proper pH
2
cherrypiiie
170
ppchar
So did I and I’m not even in that community
34
errorgiraffe
392
zan_len
242
phenyle
3
El_human
3
atreusdeo
3
gr_fabi
3
tiredguineapig
3
goddamn_slutmuffin
3
bbrainwashedd
3
No_University5296
3
Total-Marketing-3766
3
jonisykes
6
Direct-Brother-1184
3
___Fern___
5
Fearless_Tale2727
2
WhoaButter
Young’uns to un’yuns
3
Ebenoid
2
TheLoadedGoat
2
NoNameWhatAShame
* I planted mine outside last year and 2 of them got huge and are about to flower. I just added some new ones 2 days ago, hopefully they ll grow nicely too.
2
yoitsme_obama17
2
Potomacker
2
boogiewoogibugalgirl
2
havelock-vetinari
74
Emotional_Way_6238
🪦💀
4
BouncingPost
103
Similar_Synonyms
😂😂😂 underrated comment haha so good
10
KlassySassMomma
2
Master_Fox_4232
2
TryndMusic
95
[deleted]
They’ll get pretty sad without nutrition tho
27
Laurenslagniappe
Yeah like after 6 months they'll crave soil.
24
jackioff
after 6 months
I'd say if you're making a $1 bunch of green onions last a full 6 months, you can buy a new bunch as a little treat
53
[deleted]
Treating one’s self??? Spending single dollars???? In THIS economy???
2
Lara-El
Every time I plant them, they die loll
18
deadbeef4
We had some in the middle of summer that we weren’t going to use quickly enough, so I just kind of stuck them in one of the raised beds on our deck.
They were still very happy when the snow covered them, so I guess we’ll see what spring brings.
9
amberita70
I planted ones that were cut just above the white and all 9 of those died lol. The one I just left whole and planted is doing great hahaha
8
eukomos
Mine too, I’m going to try growing them from seed this year and see if that helps.
3
ozzy_thedog
Can’t you just plant them in a pot of soil once they’ve rooted in water?
2
Lara-El
Should I really do that? Or just cutting the green party is enough?
8
[deleted]
[deleted]
14
Lara-El
LOL, stupid auto correct, but I'm leaving it as it's hilarious, hahaha
6
daidrian
You can cut them off down to about 1cm above the roots and they'll keep growing back. Each plant will last a few years in the ground this way
2
itsJussaMe
22
grusoniaslurt
14
amercium
11
fcknweebs
10
Bubbly-Payment7571
8
rethinkthatdecision
8
Zohdiax
4
bazrosex
4
Nonie-Mouse-1980
3
Ravokion
3
misunderstood_swami
I AM WHEEZINGGG 😩😂😂😂 Thank you I fr needed this laugh
2
saltysnakeboot
2
[deleted]
2
AlwaysTheGarden
2
Neziip
2
Doxsein
2
Acrobatic_Let8535
4
BucketOfCake96
that's green onions, you tart!
(as if half a dozen people didnt already tell you ahaha)
3
she_slithers_slyly
2
popkillers
2
Allohowareyou
2
cupcakesandvoodoo
2
PM_ME_heartwarmth
This is very sweet.
If you enjoyed these, you can try basil in a non soil container. I grew a decent one in leca before. Or you can get something like an aerogarden and grow all sorts of herbs in that
2
OrangeAugust
2
No_Tonight9123
2
Prudent_Scholar6133
2
Aware_Audience352
2
whoreticulchar
2
Prestigious-Olive130
2
_mack_sauces
2
fatpaxs
2
tigerbalmz
26
RoughDoughCough
The scent reminds him of her
21
Allohowareyou
💀
4
IXLatnada
13
RegisteredNurserino
Green onion=Scallion
12
bandogardens
1,875
LuciusDickusMaximus
Appreciate it bro 😭 I been tearing up too
2,023
[deleted]
I can’t tell if this is a joke or not 😂
814
LookWords
It's exceptional
267
Pope_smack
this guy is either a comedic genius or a total idiot
84
CurnanBarbarian
You can be both haha
28
videoguylol
it is
26
BlackLakeBlueFish
That’s the best thing about this!
You rock, OP!!!🧅🤭🧅
31
DontWanaReadiT
I know isn’t it incredible lmao
3
bandogardens
😂hang in there big dog
65
shawarmadaddy_
Sorry but you might just be the funniest person on Reddit and I’m glad it was recognized on this sub
23
RhubarbGoldberg
Everything about this is so fucking amazing.
3
drDOOM_is_in
Hahahahahaha
20
Business_Marketing76
Hysterical
10
Specific-Bass-3465
538
IYIatthys
How can it be? What does it mean?
It's uncanny, it's obscene
The baby is un-na-tu-rally... green, onion
35
cosmicheartbeat
You could say he's been changed for good
9
Gooncookies
628
doomshroom420
Had to double check where I was, outjerked by the main sub smh
233
Maelstrom_Witch
Oh wait …
22
ipostunderthisname
OUTJERKED!
27
witchystoneyslutty
Yeah I had to check which one this was too😂
26
pissliquors
I’m so excited I finally saw one in the wild 🙌
11
syarahdos
Beat me to it damn
3
Extra_Security2718
Oop i thought i was already there 😂
4
eimichan
I took the top-left photo in 2020 for a scavenger hunt. If you let it flower and split, it'll divide and give more onion plants. Two years later, I had more green onions than I could use.
75
LurkerBerker
yours bloomed so much more nicely than mine 😭
27
Primary-Border8536
Oooooooo
4
sammy_zammy
That’s a two-headed diplodocus, not a spring onion, but I appreciate how the confusion may arise.
4
Novemberise
34
son_of_a_feesh
I thought the same thing, it's fun seeing these in the wild 😄
5
[deleted]
26
RoughDoughCough
When life gives you green onions, make ramen
13
[deleted]
May as well cry in a bowl of broth.
3
Busy_Difference3671
YesterdayCame
12
Allohowareyou
I believe this is a very very interesting specimen of a troll bot hybrid we have here in our midst. Their post history is a trip.
8