My speech got cut because I jokingly called out the groom for not cleaning the bathtub from his pubic hair

Because he's the GROOM'S friend. His responsibility to have that talk. You think the bride didn't ask him to do that?

That is some gross shit. And seemingly on brand

cringe

And comments have been disabled on the post. Fucking cringe.

Oh absolutely agree. If you're old enough to be a part of someone's wedding party, you're old enough to know when and when not to make jokes like this.

I read the post twice because I was sure I must’ve missed something upon seeing the comments, but it seems that my understanding of the situation is the same as everyone else’s.

Before moving on, it’s worth mentioning that OP sounds awfully jealous & resentful; this reads like a rant from a teenager going through a “bros before hoęs” phase. With that being said, we can likely agree that he’s immature—or at least acting immaturely in this situation. While I could view the bride’s reaction similarly, it’s ultimately her wedding day. Apologies in advance for the irony you’re about to see here with this being a sub that laughs at absurd self-importance & all, but my rule is this: on days like the one in question, where you thought enough of me to request my presence so that I might be a part of your experience, I’m there to support you and make it easier if doing so is in my power.

To get yourself worked up over the reaction described above goes against that rule. Unless “I tried to talk to the bride” means “I was hoping to apologize when I found a quick moment to do so/in passing so it wouldn’t present an inconvenience,” OP fucked up. This is one of those times to say fuck it & move on, and judging by the tone of the post, it sounds like his intention was more likely to lobby against the decision to cut his speech. If that’s the case, the bride is far from unreasonable—it’s inconsequential bullshit that adds unnecessary drama to an already-exacting day. Even if it was an overreaction, this is one you let go.

OP may not be giving us the full story here, and that’s my guess if we’re assuming the bride was acting reasonably. The groom isn’t exactly nothing when it comes to weddings, and some might be shocked to find out they’re pretty damn important on such days. If something like this happened with a very close friend of over 20 years, immediately cutting the speech is odd even if some members of the group considered the joke inappropriate (more on that to later). Rather, you’d expect the groom to pull one of his multi-decade best friends aside to say “look man, you’re like a brother to me; you know how we talk shit when we’re just hanging out, and the shaving joke was decent, but keep those in your pocket when you’re up there giving the speech. She was upset, and her family isn’t used to that sort of thing, so keeping a lid on is what we need to do. For me, alright man?” Obviously, that didn’t happen, which leads me to believe OP might not have an accurate understanding of how his friend views him or that this is perhaps a pattern of behavior.

However, and as for what I wanted to say regarding my initial reaction to the comments under this post, I agree with OP in some ways—but that’s only if I give him the benefit of the doubt, meaning if he’s truly a well-meaning & good guy who was snubbed by the bride at the wedding of one of his best friends that he’s known for decades & doesn’t bring about unnecessary drama by blowing situations out of proportion.

Have you taken a look at some of these replies? “You’re the asshole… I don’t care how close you are, you don’t talk about genitals at a wedding.” Goddamn, I can only hope I don’t find myself at one of those snoozefests. Obviously I don’t know anything about such events beyond those I attended, but I’ve been sitting here thinking “speaking of buzzballs…” was very tame for a bunch of likely-intoxicated adults. I’ve heard best man/MOH speeches that made Richard Pryor sound like Mister Rogers, and we laughed our asses off all the way through. “That’s a really inappropriate joke… time & place.” If I’m being honest, a room full of adults who’re sitting back with some drinks to celebrate the union of two important people who bring joy to our lives seems like just the “time & place” for such a remark.

Then there’s my favorite, courtesy of u/notyourmom1966 : “Your speech was cut because you showed that you didn't understand what was appropriate for the setting. Be glad you didn't get asked to leave on top of it.” Fuckin’ hell, because he made a joke about shaving nuts? Is this a UN Disarmament Commission session? If this is the mindset of those you call “friends,” you have my sympathy.

Those taking the time to read this likely think that I’m a nut job & taking this far too seriously, and I can’t blame them if that’s the case. The broad issue at hand is something that I feel particularly strong about, and I’ve spent years ruminating on it. My mother is a public school teacher & my father is practically a blue-collar union man caricature. I attended public school & was raised in a large & diverse city. I spent a total of seven years in higher education; four years were spent completing degrees in economics & political science, three were spent earning a JD. Admittedly so, I’m a walking progressive stereotype in some ways. We’re on Reddit, and I’m willing to bet that many of the folks responding to OP would say they’re also progressives—which leaves me even more confused & disheartened. Perhaps I view progressivism differently, or even incorrectly, but I believe in the principles behind the “it’s just body hair,” “genitals aren’t inherently sexual,” and in cases where a sexual element is present like this one, “we must address the shame surrounding sex in our society” rhetoric, and I’d argue that viewing such a joke so harshly shows why such messages still hold importance. Why is it inappropriate, because it involves testicles? Is it because he shaved his balls in preparation for sex on the wedding night? It’s a common theme rooted in centuries of tradition that’s known to everyone & their mother. Everyone there probably fucked on their wedding night. Their parents fucked on their wedding night. Their grandparents, decrepit as they may be today, fucked on their wedding night. People fuck, especially on wedding nights; that’s what we do, and everyone knows it. That being said, is the joke all that bad in such a context? Is this something that people need to worry about saying?

I’ve been in a diverse range of environments, from formal to informal & joyous to sorrowful. Even in professional settings, I’ve heard (and even said) far more crass things aimed at eliciting a laugh that landed successfully, and I’m happy they do; finding yourself in a room full of people viewing all of your words through a lens like the one seen throughout this discussion is one of the worst aspects of life.

I sincerely hope we become the “come on, live a little” people again sometime soon.

Nah, that implication was the entire joke, everyone there got it. You not getting it is odder tbh

No, that was a comparison. He made a comment about balls in mixed company at a wedding, not just his buddies hanging out in the basement. It doesn’t matter if OP thought the joke was inappropriate, it doesn’t matter if we think the joke is inappropriate all that matters is the bride and groom had a problem with it.

Yeah, I was surprised by the reactions as well. If the bride hadn’t said what she said, I might understand a little bit more. But she literally SAID that he was making the day about hm, which I don’t think he was really trying to do to begin with, but she obviously felt some type of way about the attention he got when he cracked the joke. Or as I mentioned, if he hadn’t been close and spoken that way normally with the group he was talking to. Or if he had said it to people he wasn’t close with or during the actual speech. Everyone keeps going on about “tha time and plaaaace”…..which wasn’t really out of place if the history OP provided was accurate. And let’s be real - ladies are just as bad when we get together. Eh well, what can ya do? The Reddit mobs will mob.