DON'T tell me to clean the roach-infested bathroom while at work

For context, I'm a teenager working my first job at a coffee shop. The recent months has made this job extremely stressful, and I could name a hundred horror stories, but this one is by far the worst one.

We have a unisex bathroom and usually I make the other person working the counter with me clean it because I think it's fairly gross. This day, my coworker Dave saw that it was time to clean the bathroom (we do it hourly or whenever it gets really messy; we are open for indoor seating) and instead of going to clean it like a good human, he said "Yo, could you clean it this time? I literally clean it every time when I work with you." I got pissed, but I'm quick on my feet and started formulating a plan.

"Sure, but can you get it next time? We can trade off," I said, smiling. He said "sure" and I went to clean the bathroom. It was easy enough, and then I got back behind the counter, but what Dave didn't know was that I started putting laxatives in literally every customer's drinks (I have constant constipation so I carry around a lot.

If you don't know, laxatives + coffee = shit storm. and, as if on cue, the manager came to us and said "customers are saying the bathroom is really messy, can one of you clean it? Oh, and glove up." I smiled as Dave reluctantly walked to the bathroom. He spent over 15 minutes cleaning shit off the floor and toilet seats. Maybe next time, you should respect my preferences Dave :).