My intrusive thoughts are starting to ruin my life

Everyone has intrusive thoughts once in a while like "what if I jumped off this cliff?" Nothing to worry about, it's perfectly normal. Well, unless you're like me these past few weeks.

My intrusive thoughts won't leave me the fuck alone unless I do what they tell me to do. For example, I was on a date with a girl last night at Red Lobster and I was trying to pay attention to whatever she was saying, but all I could think was "tell her she looks like an ostrich." Eventually, it was too much for me and alI just blurted it out. Needless to say, it did not go over well. The most fucked thing was she looked nothing like an ostrich.

The weird thing is, I never get harmful intrusive thoughts anymore, just really random ones. Last week I tried to write a history paper but instead, because of the power of my thoughts, I turned 4 pages of just typed out dicks (8D). But when I went to the grand canyon, the thoughts didn't appear even for a second.

Then there's the McDonald's incident. I went in just for a coffee and instead ended up paying for the meals of everyone in line because my thoughts wouldn't stop. It was pretty wholesome, but now I have an overdrawn checking account and no way of paying it off-- I'm taking time off from the firm I work at until I figure this out because I was inches away from stapling the Bee Movie script onto my all of my coworker's computer screen.

I start CBT next week, I hope it helps.