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LuciusDickusMaximus Archive

September 26th, 2020

0

/r/TrueOffMyChest

6 years ago

I'm (19m) starting to think my girlfriend's (22f) family has some sort of mob ties.

My girlfriend never lets me pay for anything. At first, I thought this was because she had too much pride to let me pay, but at this point I'm thinking "How the hell do you have that much money?!" I just met her parents, and they don't have luxurious job. His mom is a garbage lady, and his dad is a stay-at-home day, yet they live in a huge house.

But that was just the start of my confusion. One time I was over at their house for dinner, and I really had to take a shit, so I went looking for a bathroom but couldn't find one. It was an emergency so I went into the closet and started to shit into a bucket. The squatting was really uncomfortable, so I shifted the bucket back, and one of the floorboards popped up like a seesaw. As I was fixing it, guess what caught my eye? Cash, probably totaling around $40,000.

Here's the straw that broke the camel's back. That same day, I was walking with my gf around her neighborhood and we ran into some older guy she knew. They chatted for a bit, and then he whispered something into her ear. The only words I made out was "Tell your mom...."

I told this to my friend and he laughed and said "you've been watching too much Sopranos." But I feel like I'm right. What do you guys think???

September 26th, 2020

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Comments:

Disastrous-Purpose-8

6 years ago

You shit in a bucket in their house instead of asking where the bathroom is?

12

fike88

6 years ago

Bullshit

10

AutoAdviceSeeker

6 years ago

If they find that bucket your dead

3

sittingbytheheater

6 years ago

I will tell you that this does happen. So just take it for what it is. If you like her then just... you know. Take it for what it is. Don’t bring it up unless she does, though.

2

[deleted]

6 years ago

Fake

2

Suck-Less

6 years ago

Fogetaboutit.

1

Thoughtbuffet

6 years ago

What's the joke, I don't even get it

1