TIFU by destroying almost $1 million dollars worth of guitars at the music store

Obligatory not today but about 5 hours ago.

I was a Tinder date at Hooters with one of the waitresses. It was going really poorly because I had tipped our waitress like 0.5% and she looked pissed. So I resorted to Plan B: showing off my guitar skills and turning the night around. I asked her if she wanted to go to the music store and she begrudgingly said yes.

We drove over and went into the store, and I headed straight into the guitar room. Hundreds of priceless guitars were stacked on racks in front of us. I asked my date her favorite song, and she told me it was "Stairway to Heaven". I started mocking her for her basic music taste and she slapped me really hard. So hard, in fact, that I fell onto the guitar rack, which apparently was not soundly engineered because every single guitar came crashing down.

The store manager, who looked really pissed, told us we had destroyed $850,000 worth of guitars. I felt a pit in my stomach because I have a good job in finance, and while I have much more than that in savings, I was hoping to get a new car and there was no way I would be able to get it if I had to pay that much.

Luckily, I was able to convince the manager that it was my date who had destroyed all the guitars by slapping me. He reviewed the security tapes and agreed that she had to pay all the $850,000.

Needless to say, I didn't get laid that night.

TL;DR: Started the night at Hooter's, ended it alone in my bed masturbating to a waitress who is now $850k in debt.