LuciusDickusMaximus Archive

April 2nd, 2021

/r/wedding

5 years ago

[QUESTION] How to become the best man?

I'm 42 years old and I've been to tons of weddings, but I've never been someone's best man. Kinda makes me feel like shit. No one has ever looked at me and been like "this guy is my best friend"? Really?

Well, I decided that once this pandemic is over, I'm gonna be someone's best man. And I'll be the best best man that ever lived. Literally will dip into my 401k to make sure there's strippers for everyone at the bachelor's party.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. There are a few obstacles to my goal:

1) Most of my friends are already married, or they are single and unlikely to find love in this lifetime

2) I don't know how to be a "best friend." In friend group dynamics, I've only ever been like the supporting friend who supplements the best friend's energy really.

3) I don't do well w/ women. What I mean is, I can't see a guys bride-to-be letting him choose me as his best man. I sort of make really unintentionally misogynistic comments due to my lack of impulse control. I am working on it though.

Can someone help me become a best man sometime this decade?? I've started volunteering at the local college to become better friends with some students and younger people, but so far I haven't really made an connections. What's your ideas?

April 2nd, 2021

Comments:

[deleted]

5 years ago

God, I hope this is trolling, but on the off chance it's not....You are FAR too old to "not be good with women." Stop making misogynistic comments. It's not about impulse control, it's about how you think about women. People who aren't misogynists don't make misogynistic comments regardless of their level of impulse control.

LuciusDickusMaximus

5 years ago

I have serious ADHD. Believe me, if I wanted to make the comments I would but it requires serious mental effort. I actually think greatly of women.

thafraz

5 years ago

I can’t tell if you’re trolling or not.

But if you’re not, honestly, just focus on becoming a better person, not a misogynistic asshole. Being someone’s best man or maid of honor is about supporting your best friend on one of the biggest events of their lives. It’s not an Xbox achievement to unlock and move on from. Honestly, if you’re serious about wanting to open up yourself to more friendships—-actual, wholehearted friendships without ulterior motive—-then perhaps look into seeing a therapist to help you work through some stuff.

Also, friendships as adults take work. You ACTUALLY have to put in effort to call and make plans to hang out one-on-one.

HelpINeedSomebdy

5 years ago

Volunteering at the college to become close friends with a bunch of 20 year olds for ulterior motives sounds pretty creepy man. I wouldn't start your best man toast with how it came to be...

dizzy9577

5 years ago

I would spend the money instead on therapy to help you get over why this thing is so important to you.

I've never been a maid of honor. I don't care at all. My cousin who was my MOH didn't have a bridal party. It does not affect my life in any way shape or form.

LuciusDickusMaximus

5 years ago

Um that's great for you? I actually have aspirations so idk don't try to relate to me?

princessblowhole

5 years ago

You’re 42 and you want to hang around college kids with the hope of being someone’s best man? That’s fucking insane. Even my husband, who is a social butterfly with tons of close friends, has only been his brother’s best man.

tofu_kat19

5 years ago

Maybe your impulsive misogynistic comments were the reason why your friends didn't select you to be their best man? I certainly wouldn't want my FH to have a best man with those types of views. I'd work on being the best version of yourself first before you give yourself to help make a wedding day happen.