TIFU by killing my tinder date and then bringing her back to life with a fly seater

Obligatory not today but... you get it.

I don’t usually like to be gross or brag about my sex life but this story requires some of the nitty gritty details. Apologies in advance.

So, I’m on a tinder date w this cutie at Denny’s. It went well and long story short we came back to my studio apartment and start making out on the couch. Her hand makes it way down to my... enlarged member, and she pulls her face away and looks at me in shock.

“There’s no way!” She says.

“What?” I ask, confused and a little concerned.

“There’s no way your penis is that large!”

I laugh and say it is indeed. She asks me to show it, so I unzip my pants and begin to pull it out. Before I can even let the whole thing free, she falls on the ground and has a heart attack from the shock.

I don’t know what to do, but I start checking her breath and pulse. Her heart had stopped. I’m about to call 911 when I get an idea. I have this electric fly swatter which delivers a pretty nasty shock when you hit something with it. I grab that and swat her chest super hard. Immediately she comes back to life and gasps for breath like in the fucking movies.

She was in extreme shock (no pun intended) so we didn’t really talk. I just helped her up and called her an Uber. Haven’t seen her since, but might hit her up soon.