How I almost was on Jeopardy but then got blacklisted for being too smart and making Ken Jennings insecure

I was always really good at trivia. In high school, I was the captain of the "quiz bowl" team, and was by far the best player in our league. In college, I was known as "the walking fact machine" by all of my professors, since I knew more than all of them.

A year ago, I took the online Jeopardy test for fun. I put in very little effort (I was driving and talking to my niece while taking it) and got a perfect score. They followed up with me within 5 minutes (they had never seen a score so high) and had me take five more tests, all of which I aced. They said they'd be in contact with me shortly. Then, only two days later, there's a knock at my door. I open it. It's fucking Ken Jennings.

"Hey, LuciusDickusMaximus. It's nice to meet you. It's me, Ken Jennings," Ken Jennings said with his million dollar smile. I almost lost my shit. I invited him in and we chatted for a bit. He said he usually doesn't make house calls, but seeing as I may be the next champion of Jeopardy, he wanted to meet me in the flesh.

I showed him into my library and demonstrated my ability to read War and Peace in just twenty-four minutes with 99.9% retention. I could sense he was getting a little insecure, since he was standing in the presence of a human who was vastly mentally superior to himself.

Ken started talking about how "reading ability isn't everything" so I decided to take him into my bedroom and show him my wife, a Russian model who I met at bar trivia night.

"Who this ugly short man?" my wife asked when Ken came in. He scoffed, looked at me with disgust, and ran out of the house.

I never heard from him again. My IP address has been banned from the Jeopardy website ever since.