December 6th, 2022
2
My wife is trying to sabotage my simple living
My wife is a busy executive assistant at a huge firm. She works overtime every week and even when she’s “clocked out” she has to take so many work calls and answer so many emails. I, on the other hand, am a librarian. I punch in, work my eight hours, punch out, and come home. I don’t think about work at all when I’m home, and in the past year I’ve really embraced simple living. It’s been great for me, but…
It has been interfering with my wife’s work. For example, last month on a whim I disconnected our wifi while baked. Seconds later I heard my wife start screaming and running around. She ran into the living room and found me meditating with the routers power cable still in my hands. Let’s just say she was not pleased.
Recently, she’s been acting up— I think she’s plotting. I’ve noticed she’s been doing small subtle things to ruin my peace. Like getting an Amazon Echo and programming it to remind me what I’m not doing ever single hour. Or insisting on playing music aloud while I try to meditate. Last night, I swear to god I caught her trying to give me a stress dream. I woke up to her whispering shit like “you have so much to do tomorrow. You are overwhelmed. You cannot handle it” into my ear. When I said “what are you doing?” she dropped her head and pretended she was asleep. The next morning she feigned complete ignorance.
She’s clearly very jealous of my peace. I keep encouraging her to quit her job, but she insists on working herself to death. I’m not sure what to do, but this rant helped.
December 6th, 2022
2
Comments:
geebanga
1
Sweaty-Weekend
I don't think you guys are compatible anymore, at this point. You deserve a partner that will calmly restore a wifi connection ( I've worked in corporate tech and it can be done calmly) and wouldn't dare to disturb your peace at night or while meditating.
The way she tried to give you a stress dream? That's toxic as hell. Also I think she was projecting her jealousy and her own perceived helplessness at you.
Try to sit her down and have a conversation with her about this. If she won't be tolerant, mature and respectful about this, talk to her about a divorce and don't be afraid of (temporary) loneliness.
Sometimes when we simplify our lives or find new wholesome habits and reasons for happiness, there are friends or family members who are just not on the same wavelenght and the relationship just fizzles out or reaches a point like what you are describing, where it can be healthier to go separate ways.
1
tangerinaaaas
i would say this is about balance and you both being able to sit down together, talk about what your points of view are and understanding eachothers boundaries.
It has been interfering with my wife’s work. For example, last month on a whim I disconnected our wifi while baked. Seconds later I heard my wife start screaming and running around. She ran into the living room and found me meditating with the routers power cable still in my hands.
this is an example of something you need to balance. you do not want WiFi, you can turn it off on your devices. your wife can still use it.
the other things you described are obviously wrong and very intrusive, you also dont need that.
maybe you have different ideas of what kind of Simple life you want to live and you both need to make sure that the other person is on board and available to deal with the other. but it is important for you both to set boundaries you can respect.
5
[deleted]
This reminds me of when I got sober and everyone got mad that the biggest drinker they knew believed he had a problem with drinking.
Why did they get mad? I have a hunch it's because they know they're addicts to an extent, too, and me going sober calls attention to that.
Your wife sounds like an addict. And you know what they say about addicts - they have to want to change. They also have a propensity for taking others down with them...
5
sourmermaid
6