I got so hungry at work I ate every single person’s lunch, and everyone blamed the janitor

I have insane blood sugar swings. I’m not diabetic and I’ve never been diagnosed, but based on my symptoms I’d say I have reactive hypoglycemia, meaning if there’s a spike in my blood sugar, it’s gonna crash down dangerously.

This morning, I was in a serious rush to get to work and I had very few groceries so on the way out of the house I shoveled two cups of granulated white sugar into my mouth. It was terrible. After I coughed a lot of it up into dust, I was left with a sweet sludge in my mouth which slowly dissolved and made its way into my stomach.

Two hours later, I felt my blood sugar drop like a child falling off a roller coaster. One second I was typing up a storm, the next I was seeing double and shaking severely. Hunger took me by storm.

Without thinking, I ran into the break room and just started looting the fridge. I think I was deathly low on sugar (my hypoglycemic friend says she once went into a coma due to a blood sugar drop) because I blacked out, just like from alcohol. All I really remember is digging and ripping; making my way through brown paper bags and plastic wrap. The first sign of my return to rationality was my shock and guilt: I remember being on the floor with crumbs and trash all around me, thinking “what the fuck have I done?”

I cleaned it up as best I could and returned to my desk. I don’t know how anyone didn’t notice— I guess since the break room is tucked away behind the bathroom, everyone assumed I was relieving myself. And it was still 9am so no one was eating their lunch yet.

My crime went unnoticed for another hour and a half, when a coworker went to take their early ass lunch only to find it was gone. She alerted the office that the fridge had been raided and everyone went into a craze. I had to act like my lunch was stolen too, which made me feel really guilty. Still, it was my first week on the job and I really didn’t want to become that guy.

Eventually, one guy started a rumor that he saw the janitor in there and everybody ran with it. He didn’t get fired or anything because there was no proof, but everyone started being really suspicious of him afterwards.

This was two months ago and I just got canned so I feel comfortable sharing this story now. If anyone from the company sees this, I’m sorry.