LuciusDickusMaximus Archive
1
/r/Teachers
Every year these kids come back with a new annoying quirk… “coin boys” are apparently the new thing
2
/r/tifu
TIFU by maybe accidentally inviting my plumber over for Thanksgiving
3
/r/tifu
TIFU by thinking the phrase was “Lame Ann’s Terms”
4
/r/tifu
TIFU by telling a Slavic tourist “we don’t allow your kind in here”
5
/r/casualiama
I am Jerrick Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadams, the man who legally added a lot of A's to my name at age 18 so I would appear first on any alphabetized list. Ask me anything!
6
/r/Spanish
Did I correctly tell my building’s super to turn the bidet water heat up to 95?
7
/r/MobileAL
Does anyone have diving equipment to borrow or any information about the June 9th I-10 bridge crash?
8
/r/TrueOffMyChest
I got so hungry at work I ate every single person’s lunch, and everyone blamed the janitor
9
/r/TrueOffMyChest
My uncle offered me a bet. If I win he will pay off my student loans. Should I take it?
10
/r/AITAH
Wife threatened to leave five star reviews saying our waitress allowed underage drinkers. AITA for pledging to never take her out again?
/r/Showerthoughts
Considering all the musicians who have canceled tours and are quarantined at home, we may be in for a glut of great albums pretty soon.
/r/Showerthoughts
Even though frozen dinners have rendered cooking a completely useless skill, the restaurant industry is still alive due to longing for social interaction.
/r/LifeProTips
LPT: If you're scared to start using drugs, remember the 5-95 rule-- only 5% get addicted, yet they're louder than the rest of the 95%
/r/UpliftingNews
Alderman who called Corona Virus a "hoax" last month tests positive for Corona Virus
/r/UpliftingNews
Man trying to steal chips from a vending machine gets arm chopped off
/r/LifeProTips
LPT: If you are going to have a child out of wedlock, say like, oh i don't know, Howie Mandel, at least have the guts to take him in as your own
/r/unpopularopinion
Howie Mandel is a criminal who should be locked up for life
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
Kramer tricks George into eating his own fecal matter.
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
Kramer starts an insurance fraud scheme, instructing his clients to jump in front of cars. George accidentally commits vehicular manslaughter. Elaine is bothered that her boyfriend has a collection of human teeth at his apartment. Jerry starts a forest fire while trying to grill.
/r/Showerthoughts
Literacy is probably the lowest it has ever been thanks to smartphones.
/r/Showerthoughts
Considering all the musicians who have canceled tours and are quarantined at home, we may be in for a glut of great albums pretty soon.
/r/Showerthoughts
Even though frozen dinners have rendered cooking a completely useless skill, the restaurant industry is still alive due to longing for social interaction.
/r/LifeProTips
LPT: If you're scared to start using drugs, remember the 5-95 rule-- only 5% get addicted, yet they're louder than the rest of the 95%
/r/UpliftingNews
Alderman who called Corona Virus a "hoax" last month tests positive for Corona Virus
/r/UpliftingNews
Man trying to steal chips from a vending machine gets arm chopped off
/r/LifeProTips
LPT: If you are going to have a child out of wedlock, say like, oh i don't know, Howie Mandel, at least have the guts to take him in as your own
/r/unpopularopinion
Howie Mandel is a criminal who should be locked up for life
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
Kramer tricks George into eating his own fecal matter.
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
Kramer starts an insurance fraud scheme, instructing his clients to jump in front of cars. George accidentally commits vehicular manslaughter. Elaine is bothered that her boyfriend has a collection of human teeth at his apartment. Jerry starts a forest fire while trying to grill.
/r/Showerthoughts