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LuciusDickusMaximus Archive

1

Every year these kids come back with a new annoying quirk… “coin boys” are apparently the new thing

2

TIFU by maybe accidentally inviting my plumber over for Thanksgiving

3

TIFU by thinking the phrase was “Lame Ann’s Terms”

4

TIFU by telling a Slavic tourist “we don’t allow your kind in here”

5

I am Jerrick Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadams, the man who legally added a lot of A's to my name at age 18 so I would appear first on any alphabetized list. Ask me anything!

6

Did I correctly tell my building’s super to turn the bidet water heat up to 95?

7

Does anyone have diving equipment to borrow or any information about the June 9th I-10 bridge crash?

8

/r/TrueOffMyChest

I got so hungry at work I ate every single person’s lunch, and everyone blamed the janitor

9

/r/TrueOffMyChest

My uncle offered me a bet. If I win he will pay off my student loans. Should I take it?

10

Wife threatened to leave five star reviews saying our waitress allowed underage drinkers. AITA for pledging to never take her out again?

/r/TooAfraidToAsk

Should you know anatomy in elementary school if you want to be a doctor?

Engineers of Reddit, what’s the most broken engine you’ve encountered and how did you fix it?

/r/LateStageCapitalism

Wanted to use the vending machine, the “attendant” took my card and did it for me, then asked for a 25% tip

Poachers of Reddit, what’s stopping you from getting a “license to kill”?

I am Vynch Gollug, an ex ventriloquist who is now hired to frame men for catcalling women. Ask me anything.

Called in and told boss I blew off my hand with firework last night (a lie) now need legit sounding reason for why I have a hand again on Monday

/r/NoStupidQuestions

Do the fireworks that accidentally end up in space pose any danger to the space environment or astronauts?

I’ve been closing my eyes while driving when I get overstimulated

Can the Alzheimer’s elders consent to this gameshow my managers put on at the retirement center?

Elevators can be used during fires, they just want us firefighters to have exclusive access during emergencies. What’s a misconception about your job?

/r/TooAfraidToAsk

Should you know anatomy in elementary school if you want to be a doctor?

Engineers of Reddit, what’s the most broken engine you’ve encountered and how did you fix it?

/r/LateStageCapitalism

Wanted to use the vending machine, the “attendant” took my card and did it for me, then asked for a 25% tip

Poachers of Reddit, what’s stopping you from getting a “license to kill”?

I am Vynch Gollug, an ex ventriloquist who is now hired to frame men for catcalling women. Ask me anything.

Called in and told boss I blew off my hand with firework last night (a lie) now need legit sounding reason for why I have a hand again on Monday

/r/NoStupidQuestions

Do the fireworks that accidentally end up in space pose any danger to the space environment or astronauts?

I’ve been closing my eyes while driving when I get overstimulated

Can the Alzheimer’s elders consent to this gameshow my managers put on at the retirement center?

Elevators can be used during fires, they just want us firefighters to have exclusive access during emergencies. What’s a misconception about your job?

/r/TooAfraidToAsk

Should you know anatomy in elementary school if you want to be a doctor?

Engineers of Reddit, what’s the most broken engine you’ve encountered and how did you fix it?

/r/LateStageCapitalism

Wanted to use the vending machine, the “attendant” took my card and did it for me, then asked for a 25% tip

Poachers of Reddit, what’s stopping you from getting a “license to kill”?

I am Vynch Gollug, an ex ventriloquist who is now hired to frame men for catcalling women. Ask me anything.

Called in and told boss I blew off my hand with firework last night (a lie) now need legit sounding reason for why I have a hand again on Monday

/r/NoStupidQuestions

Do the fireworks that accidentally end up in space pose any danger to the space environment or astronauts?

I’ve been closing my eyes while driving when I get overstimulated

Can the Alzheimer’s elders consent to this gameshow my managers put on at the retirement center?

Elevators can be used during fires, they just want us firefighters to have exclusive access during emergencies. What’s a misconception about your job?