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LuciusDickusMaximus Archive

1

/r/Teachers

Every year these kids come back with a new annoying quirk… “coin boys” are apparently the new thing

2

/r/tifu

TIFU by maybe accidentally inviting my plumber over for Thanksgiving

3

/r/tifu

TIFU by thinking the phrase was “Lame Ann’s Terms”

4

/r/tifu

TIFU by telling a Slavic tourist “we don’t allow your kind in here”

5

/r/casualiama

I am Jerrick Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadams, the man who legally added a lot of A's to my name at age 18 so I would appear first on any alphabetized list. Ask me anything!

6

/r/Spanish

Did I correctly tell my building’s super to turn the bidet water heat up to 95?

7

/r/MobileAL

Does anyone have diving equipment to borrow or any information about the June 9th I-10 bridge crash?

8

/r/TrueOffMyChest

I got so hungry at work I ate every single person’s lunch, and everyone blamed the janitor

9

/r/TrueOffMyChest

My uncle offered me a bet. If I win he will pay off my student loans. Should I take it?

10

/r/AITAH

Wife threatened to leave five star reviews saying our waitress allowed underage drinkers. AITA for pledging to never take her out again?

/r/Conservative

Another A.O.C. Gaffe: Rep. Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) calls fiscal policy "physical" policy in Brooklyn speech.

/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld

Kramer lists the apartment hallway on airbnb, and a woman stays there. George falls in love with the woman. Jerry accidentally steps on her and breaks her jaw when returning from a comedy gig. Elaine has lung surgery.

/r/Damnthatsinteresting

Lawyer Geirgius Huffins' tie is psychologically designed to make him appear more charismatic in court. He was almost disbarred for this, but he wore the tie to the disbarment hearing and it was unanimously decided that he could continue practicing law.

/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld

Elaine starts an Only Fans to pay for rent. Kramer gets a gallon of free superglue and fills small lube bottles with it to be sold. George secretly watches her content, but accidentally super glues his hand to his penis while pleasing himself. Jerry loses a bet and has to cut off his pinky.

/r/Showerthoughts

The people who cut individual rices out of gelatinous rice blocks are probably not being payed enough.

/r/howto

How do I make cologne extremely itchy?

/r/Wellthatsucks

Told my 5 year old to chop up some onions while I was in the shower. Apparently she thought my laptop was a good cutting board

/r/Showerthoughts

A child has probably actually dropped his pocket before but didn't believe his friends when they told him.

/r/TrueOffMyChest

I'm (19m) starting to think my girlfriend's (22f) family has some sort of mob ties.

/r/dating_advice

I'm (19m) starting to think my girlfriend's (22f) family has some sort of mob ties.

/r/Conservative

Another A.O.C. Gaffe: Rep. Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) calls fiscal policy "physical" policy in Brooklyn speech.

/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld

Kramer lists the apartment hallway on airbnb, and a woman stays there. George falls in love with the woman. Jerry accidentally steps on her and breaks her jaw when returning from a comedy gig. Elaine has lung surgery.

/r/Damnthatsinteresting

Lawyer Geirgius Huffins' tie is psychologically designed to make him appear more charismatic in court. He was almost disbarred for this, but he wore the tie to the disbarment hearing and it was unanimously decided that he could continue practicing law.

/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld

Elaine starts an Only Fans to pay for rent. Kramer gets a gallon of free superglue and fills small lube bottles with it to be sold. George secretly watches her content, but accidentally super glues his hand to his penis while pleasing himself. Jerry loses a bet and has to cut off his pinky.

/r/Showerthoughts

The people who cut individual rices out of gelatinous rice blocks are probably not being payed enough.

/r/howto

How do I make cologne extremely itchy?

/r/Wellthatsucks

Told my 5 year old to chop up some onions while I was in the shower. Apparently she thought my laptop was a good cutting board

/r/Showerthoughts

A child has probably actually dropped his pocket before but didn't believe his friends when they told him.

/r/TrueOffMyChest

I'm (19m) starting to think my girlfriend's (22f) family has some sort of mob ties.

/r/dating_advice

I'm (19m) starting to think my girlfriend's (22f) family has some sort of mob ties.

/r/Conservative

Another A.O.C. Gaffe: Rep. Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) calls fiscal policy "physical" policy in Brooklyn speech.

/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld

Kramer lists the apartment hallway on airbnb, and a woman stays there. George falls in love with the woman. Jerry accidentally steps on her and breaks her jaw when returning from a comedy gig. Elaine has lung surgery.

/r/Damnthatsinteresting

Lawyer Geirgius Huffins' tie is psychologically designed to make him appear more charismatic in court. He was almost disbarred for this, but he wore the tie to the disbarment hearing and it was unanimously decided that he could continue practicing law.

/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld

Elaine starts an Only Fans to pay for rent. Kramer gets a gallon of free superglue and fills small lube bottles with it to be sold. George secretly watches her content, but accidentally super glues his hand to his penis while pleasing himself. Jerry loses a bet and has to cut off his pinky.

/r/Showerthoughts

The people who cut individual rices out of gelatinous rice blocks are probably not being payed enough.

/r/howto

How do I make cologne extremely itchy?

/r/Wellthatsucks

Told my 5 year old to chop up some onions while I was in the shower. Apparently she thought my laptop was a good cutting board

/r/Showerthoughts

A child has probably actually dropped his pocket before but didn't believe his friends when they told him.

/r/TrueOffMyChest

I'm (19m) starting to think my girlfriend's (22f) family has some sort of mob ties.

/r/dating_advice

I'm (19m) starting to think my girlfriend's (22f) family has some sort of mob ties.